#edit: STOP LIKING THIS POST. LET IT DIE.

[90stvqueen]

I keep thinking it's gonna be fake and these last few days have been an alternate version of reality and soon I'll wake up and everything will be okay again like it was all a really long, exhausting, terrible dream

[androdragynous]

the important part about thinking you hope someone explodes is that you do it in your head

internat habits that are good to learn

[leechlets]

guys wouldn't it be crazy if bruce wayne actually WAS batman?

0 notes

□ bat4bat Follow

no IM saying that there's something going on with commissioner gordon and batman. that shit is not straight.

□ metro-metropolitan Follow

fucking gothamblr always going on about their goddamn police force. licked enough boots yet?

352 notes

□ TheRealBoosterGold Follow

Hey everyone, first post on Tumblr. I just wanted to say Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied.

□ nothingonnigh Follow

BOOSTER GOLD COCK MONOLOGUE ON MY DASH? IRL??

□ midnighterstanno1 Follow

guys make sure you have your dates turned on for this one. I still can't believe they used to let you edit tumblr posts. one of you did this to a SUPERHERO.

□ supermanssupertits Follow

someone tell lex luthor to stop trying to buy twitter and to come on tumblr. i want to cock monologue him.

1M notes

□ GreenLanternLesbian reblogged

□ heroesfuckablitypoll Follow

FUCK YOU GUYS. IM OVER THESE STUPID POLLS. SUPERVILLIAN FOUND ME AND RUINED MY APARTMENT.

□ green--lantern--stannn Follow

ALAN SCOTT ISN'T EVEN A REAL GREEN LANTERN YOU STUPID BITCH. KILL YOURSELF.

□ GreenLanternLesbian Follow

#what the fuckkkk #HELPPPPP

49,254 notes

□ black-canary-slay Follow

i cannot believe they actually let oliver queen be mayor of star city that one time. with his stupid ass goatee??? he was good but guys that could have ended SO badly. but the fuck else are you going to do.

□ isuggestpeggingoliverqueen Follow

I have a suggestion

1,267 notes

□ metropolisgirlswereunforgettable Follow

Lex FUCKING Luthor's stupid ass going on about "Superman's secret identity". BITCH HE LIVES IN THE FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE! WE KNOW THAT. HE DOESN'T HAVE ONE YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER.

□ teenteenteenteentitans Follow

11.8k notes

□ gothamHERstorian Follow

so i'm writing my thesis on the the impact thomas and martha wayne had on gotham and how their death affected the social and political climate of the next few decades and guys, the waynes were fucking their butler. there is NO explanation for this.

□ gothamHERstorian Follow

TUMBLR, I HAVE SEEN PEOPLE POST BRUCE WAYNE'S SEX TAPE ON THIS GODDAMN SITE. BUT I SUGGEST THE WAYNES WERE FUCKING THEIR BUTLER AND YOU REMOVE MY PHOTO. THERE WAS NOTHING MATURE ABOUT IT!

13,392 notes

□ justiceleagueundressed Follow

hey guyssss, my work is being held hostage again. so send in your asks, and I'll try to keep you updated. (also, if I die, I have the next 4 updates of my batman x superman x reader fic on queue, so don't fret!)

soooo ask away!!

[n0vazsq]

Till the day that I die | OP81 x Reader

pairing . . . oscar piastri x dyslexic!youtuber!reader

summary . . . Being dyslexic on social media may be hard, but your knight in shining armour is always there to defend you

request . . . yes!! based on this request

word count . . . N/A

warnings . . . none!

faceclaim . . . blanca soler MY WIFE and lily zneimer for couple posts!

alexavia yaps . . . havent written a smau in a while im afraid ive forgotten how </3 ANYHOW im saur happy ydek bc i dont have to edit this?? i dont have to read it 75 times for mistakes?? MY DYSLEXIC ASS CAN BE FREE!!!!! ps this is LITTERED with refrences! also ignore how i kind off didnt follow the request I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DO IT. dechipher the captions yallselves im too lazy to do it

y/n l/n posted a new video !

comments !

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, yourbsf, lando_norris and 2.2M others

yourusername grmw vlog is out!!! had so fun filsming it and we had an ella feaure included!!! (ella is y/n's dog!)

click to view all comments

y/nfan5 WOOHOO!!!!!

oscarpiastri Can't wait to have you in my arms

yourusername aww osc youre too sweet <3

oscarpiastri Only for you <3

f1_girly are those typos in the caption or am i tweaking

y/nswifeyy. They are! Y/n is dyslexic so every once in a while we get a typo or two

username1 im looking DISRESPECTFULLY

username2 how did she misspell two very easy words? girl go back to school

oscarpiastri She's dyslexic, you're not, so go fuck yourself

username3 OSCAR???

oscarloverr. I DIDNT KNOW OSCAR HAD IT IN HIM

y/nsno1fan guys IGNORE OSCAR AND LOOK AT Y/N

oscarpiastri

liked by yourusername, lando_norris, nicole.piastri and 2.9M others

oscarpiastri With the love of my life once again tagged: yourusername

click to view all comments

username4 I CAN DO ANYTHING PLS JUST LET ME HIT

charlesleclerc Don't bully my daughter-in-law

yourusername CHARLS ILYSM

yourusername BEST FATHER IN LAW I'VE EVR HAD

charlesleclerc I'm the only one you have?

yourusername doesn't mayyer

oscarpiastri Thank you Charles

lando_norris photo credits?

yourusername up mya ss

lando_norris wow y/n i thouht we were frinds

yourusername i ony like you because we're both dyslexic don't flatter yourslef mr norris

hater2 How do you mess up the word 'yourself' so bad?

yourusername magic

oscarpiastri Do you not have a life? Or is it hating on my girlfriend?

yourusername ate

oscarpiastri Thank you 😊

username5 HELP OSCAR IS WHIPPED FOR Y/N

username6 who ISNT

username5 good point

plmvia Y/n i love you pls don't die

f1_3112 y/n ate, left no crumbs, wiped the plate clean and oscar is meh ig

yourusername i love you

oscarpiastri me more

yourusername till the day that i die i love you more

oscarpiastri MY HEART

y/n l/n posted a new video !

comments !

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, lando_norris, nicole.piastri and 3.7M others

yourusername small phtotdup since my boyafriend is away at war ad is begging for pcitures </3 also a new vlog is out!

click to view all comments

username7 OH. MY. GOD. how hard is it for you to spell properly?

oscarpiastri As hard as it is for you to get a life and stop hating

yourusername gnawing at the bars of my enclisure that was hit

oscarpiastri Hit?

lando_norris she meant hot, oscar. hot

yourusername H-O-T-T-O-G-O you cna tae me hot to go!!!!!!!!!

oscarpiastri Stunning as always

oscarpiastri Zak better strap me down to the car because I am so close to booking a flight back home

oscarpiastri I've watched all your vlogs thrice

username8 my wife guys back off

oscarpiastri Uhm no?

username8 OMG OSCAR REPLIED SOS

oscarpiastri Text me please

yourusername will do

lando_norris this would've been a normal post if oscar wasn't a sappy muppet

yourusername oi leave my boyfriend alone

oscarpiastri When she defends you from haters <3

lando_norris you bring out a side in him that no one wants to see

yourusername sorry?

lando_norris you better be

username9 MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER

y/nplsmarryme gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous omg

verchstappan we're so back

oscah.pastry SHES MY IDOL

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, lando_norris, yourbsf and 3.2M others

yourusername finally reunited with my beuatufil biyfriend and the love of my life <33 love you till the die that iday tagged: oscarpiastri

click to view all comments

oscarpiastri I swear to god if someone comments about the typos in the caption I will personally run you over with my F1 car

yourusername so romantic 😍

oscarpiastri All for you ❤

lando_norris till the die that i day?

yourusername FUCK

oscarpiastri It's alright I got the meaning

yourusername i hare this dysexia

yourusername LANDO I SWEAR TO GOD

lando_norris I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING

yourusername you were about to

lando_norris sigh

superyuki22 i need this in my life

username10 mother y/n feed us some ynoscar crumbs

username11 if i was oscar id have a meltdown everyday out of stress of losing this goddess

username12 this is the best love story in the history of love stories

username13 im calling it theyre romeo and juliet

ynshoee_ this is so goals what

lawsons.lawyer parasocial relationship

charlesleclerc You two are very cute

yourusername so are you and alex!!

charlesleclerc You have my permission to propose

yourusername who said i alrwady didn?

charlesleclerc Okay.....

oscarpiastri

liked by yourusername, nicole.piastri, charlesleclerc and 3M others

oscarpiastri Happy anniversary, my love. From sneaking glances in the school hallways to cheering me on from the paddock, you’ve been my constant through it all. No matter how fast life moves, you’ll always be my greatest win. I love you forever, always. tagged: yourusername

click to view all comments

redbullb1tch max can keep his championships this is the REAL win

ynfann18 PREACH.

nicole.piastri The greatest prize Osc has ever won! Here's to many more!!

yourusername thank you mama piastri 🥹 🫶

oscarpiastri Thank you mum <3

lando_norris nothing more iconic than this relationship

yourusername not even your win?

lando_norris let's not get ahead of ourselves

oscarpiastri You said it yourself?

lando_norris well don't take it so seriously

h4m1lt0ns44 if racing is all i need to pull someone like y/n i'd be a world champion

yourbsf from delievering your notes to each other in high school to seeing you celebrate half a decade of this relationship, you two have the best relationship ever 🫶

yourusername thank you sm ml <33 hope to see you in the paddock with your f1 bf!

oscarpiastri Thank you, bsf/name!! I'll try my best to matchmake you with a driver so N/n can see you in the paddock more often

yourusername OSC

oscarpiastri Anything to make you happy ❤

lando_norris hey yourbsf

oscarpiastri Oh?

username14 THE NO.1 COUPLE ON THIS EARTH FRRRR

username15 i'm so sick i want this RIGHT NOW

username16 my fav thing about them is oscar defending y/n's dyslexia

username17 If your man isn't like Oscar then dump him

yourusername you always make me feel like the most special girl in the world, even when your life is driving 300 kilometres per hour 🥹 im so proud of you, not just for what you’ve acheived on the track but for who you are off it too 🫶 ill love you till the day that I die, my favorit boy forever 🥰

oscarpiastri You’ll always be my greatest achievement, on or off the track. I love you more than words, forever and always. ❤️

yourusername till the day that i die

fin.

 taglist . . . @barcapix ,, @f1lover55 ,, @ilovebarcaaa ,, @httpsdana ,, @paucubarsisimp ,, @justaf1girl (lmk if you want to join the taglist!)

[piastri-fvx]

The Night We Met. Ollie Bearman.

Pairing: Ollie Bearman x girlfriend! reader

Summary: When everyone freaks out about the way Ollie talks about his girlfriend in interviews.

Word Count:

Face claim: girls from pinterest!!

Disclaimer/s: None!! just fluff!

A/N: first ollie fic because i'm trying to do more different drivers (i support most of the drivers, lmao) hope u enjoy!! let me know if you have requests or want to be on my permanent tag list <333

✮⋆˙ Masterlist. ˙⋆✮

------------------------------------------------------

@f1

liked by olliebearman, yourusername, flavy.barla, lando, dinobeganovic_ and 8.284.936 others

f1 ollie bearman upon being asked about his girlfriend in an interview at the Saudi Arabian grand prix: "When I saw her for the first time, all of my focus went out the window. To me, everyone else was just a blur and my heart started beating so fast I thought my chest was going to explode. It felt like time froze just so I could look at her. And when she looked at me, my brain went on a hiatus. She was so pretty she literally broke my brain,"

| view all comments...

user1 oh he is in LOVE

user2 where do you even find a guy like this oml 😭

-> user3 we need his girlfriend's secret to getting a guy like ollie

-> user4 realll 😭

user5 THIS IS ADORABLE I'M GONNA DIEEE

-> user6 you can literally see it in his eyes 😭💕

user7 eyes don't lie 🤷‍♀️

dinobeganovic_ he also speaks about her like that in private btw, in case anyone was wondering 😁 liked by author

-> user8 NOT DINO OUTING OLLIE

-> user9 LMAOOOOOO

-> user10 CLOCK IT

user11 not the official f1 account posting this omfg 😭

-> user12 they knew we'd eat this up 😣

-> user13 and we still are eating this up

user14 I died dead, everyone needs an Ollie in their life 😭

-> user15 fr because how is he so sweet

user16 making ollie edits as i'm typing this 🙏

user17 i watched the interview and when i tell you, the way this man's face lit up the SECOND his girlfriend was mentioned omfg 😣

-> user18 I AM UNWELL

-> user19 gonna pray for a boyfriend like him

@olliebearman

liked by yourusername, arthur_leclerc, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc, kimi.antonelli and 582.937 others

olliebearman happy birthday to the prettiest ❤️

tagged: @yourusername

| view all comments...

yourusername thank you, my love 🥰 liked by author

-> olliebearman you're soooo welcome, my darling ❤️

-> user1 i'm gonna die

-> user2 i fear i live for this content 😣

user3 okay but can we talk about how perfect you guys look together?

-> user4 fr because how is it that they look like they've just always been together like this 😭

-> user5 real 🙏

user6 face cards never decline 😝

alexandrasaintmleux happy birthday, y/n!! liked by author

-> yourusername tyyyyy 💗 liked by author

charles_leclerc very happy that she's my daughter-in-law 😁 liked by creator

-> user7 NOT HIM BRINGING UP THE FAMILY JOKES

-> user8 HELPPPP

-> user9 "f1 is a serious sport." f1:

user10 imagine being this photogenic AND dating oliver bearman 😭

-> user11 sounds too good to be true 🙏

-> user12 i'm not even sure who's luckier, y/n or ollie

user13 cutest thing i've seen this year 💗

user14 it should literally be illegal to be this perfect

-> user15 real 😭🙏

-> user16 they're both perfect and somehow also perfect together

-> user17 fr because like ughhhh i want this soooo bad

@yourusername

liked by olliebearman, alexandrasaintmleux, flavy.barla, arthur_leclerc, lando and 382.826 others

yourusername london with my london boy ❤️

tagged: @olliebearman

| view all comments...

user1 y/n woke up and chose to make us feel even more single 😭🙏

alexandrasaintmleux trop belle 🥰🥰🥰 liked by author

-> yourusername i'm gonna kiss you

-> olliebearman no, you won't. 😁

-> user2 GUYS HE PUT A FULL STOP.

-> user3 HE DID

-> user4 HE IS SERIOUS OML

-> user5 ollie 💀

-> user6 ollie got replaced lol

user7 straight out of a novel fr

user8 no one talk to me rn

-> user9 just me actually giggling at this post

user10 still processing that people this perfect actually exist tbh

-> user11 story of my life, ngl

-> user12 i'm so jealous rn

user13 alexa, play 'that should be me' by justin bieber 😣😣😣

-> user14 i felt that on another level

olliebearman I LOVE YOUUUUU 😍 liked by author

-> user15 he's so down bad lmao

-> user16 more like down HORRENDOUS lol

user17 just me and my single ass staring at these pictures likeeee...

-> user18 i relate to this even though i don't want to

-> user19 i wish i didn't relate to this lmfao

user20 real life definition of couple goals

-> user21 literally was just about to comment that

-> user22 lollll me too

-> user23 they are literally THE standard

@haasf1team

liked by olliebearman, yourusername, formula2, kimi.antonelli, ferraridriveracademy and 347.836 others

haasf1team Ollie's on the grid for '25 🙌🇬🇧

| view all comments...

yourusername proudest girlfriend right now ❤️ liked by author

-> haasf1team our favorite fan ❤️

-> yourusername WOOOOO!! GO HAAS!!! liked by author

user1 el mago del motor 😫

-> user2 mola mas que ocon 😭😭😭

-> user3 the way that song has aged sooo well

-> user4 real

-> user5 and not only because ollie's gonna be an f1 driver, but also because his new teammate is gonna be ocon lmao 💀

teamob PROUD! 🔥🙌 liked by author

-> user6 soooo proud

f1dutchgp 🔥🔥 liked by author

user7 GUYS WE'RE ABOUT TO GET MORE OLLIE CONTENT

-> user8 YAYYYYYYYY

user9 y/n is now an f1 wag 🙏

-> user10 my new favorite f1 wag already

-> user11 same tbh, even though the others seem cool too

-> user12 yeah but ollie and y/n are a different level of perfect lol

user13 y/n representing all of us

user14 YAYYYYYYY

-> user15 GET IT OLLIEEEEE

user16 bet they just gained so many followers lmao

-> user17 yeah because we all love ollie

-> user18 he's our golden boy

user19 he's cute (i'm a straight guy)

-> user20 yup (also a straight guy)

@olliebearman

liked by yourusername, lando, alexandrasaintmleux, kimi.antonelli, f1haasteam and 793.946 others

olliebearman officially a couple account from now on ☺️

tagged: @yourusername

| view all comments...

user1 do they just wake up every day and decide to be the cutest couple ever or does it happen naturally?

-> olliebearman she's already the cutest, that makes it easier for us 😁

-> yourusername I LOVE YOUUUUU 😭❤️ liked by author

-> user2 he's so cheesy 😫

-> user3 and she's eating it up 😭💗

-> user4 we all are tbh 🙂‍↔️

-> user5 the way he's literally such a sweetheart 😣

user6 I FULLY SUPPORT THIS DECISION 🙏🙏🙏

-> user7 SAME

user8 CUTIESSSSS

user9 HE BETTER BE SERIOUS

-> user10 i hope he is 😣

-> user11 i fear i need the couple content

user12 ollie's smile when he's with y/n>>>>>>everything else

-> user13 fr because he looks the happiest when he's with her

-> user14 bro looks like he's in heaven with her

user15 like every time he smiles in an interview, i KNOW she's the reason. prove me wrong... you can't

-> user16 LITERALLY 🙏

-> user17 everyone who disagrees shall argue with the wall

-> user18 walls are smarter than people who think they can prove you wrong, pookie

@yourusername

liked by olliebearman, haasf1team, estebanocon, flavy.barla, alexandrasaintmleux and 449.057 others

yourusername in my aesthetic era 🥰

tagged: @olliebearman

| view all comments...

user1 this is EVERYTHING

-> user2 YES BECAUSE HOW IS THIS SO PERFECT

-> user3 THEY ARE LITERALLY COUPLE GOALS AHHHHH

user4 THE SMILES. THE ENERGY. THE CHEMISTRY.

user5 literally sobbing at how cute this is

-> user6 real because how can two people be this adorable together 😭

-> user7 i hope they never break up 🙏😣

user8 THIS or nothing

-> user9 this is a NEED

-> user10 YES i NEED a relationship like theirs

dinobeganovic_ i'm giving a speech at the wedding 😁😁😁 liked by author

-> user11 dino being the biggest olly/n shipper 🙏😩

-> user12 my roman empire, everyone

-> user13 this is my new favorite thing 😣

user14 outfits are eatingggg liked by author

olliebearman do you do weddings? (as the bride) liked by author

-> yourusername with you? (as the groom) definitely.

-> olliebearman deal. liked by author

-> yourusername i love youuuuuuu

-> olliebearman say it again liked by author

-> yourusername i love youuuu.

-> olliebearman yeah, you do. 😁 liked by author

user15 i'm gonna die.

-> user16 CAN WE TALK ABOUT HIS COMMENT

-> user17 YEAH LIKE OML

-> user18 AND HER ANSWER 🙏😣

-> user19 AND THE REPLIES AND OMG

-> user20 YEAH ALL OF THEIR TALK OMFG

-> user21 AND THEY'RE SO DOWN BAD FOR EACH OTHER

------------------------------------------------------

A/N: OMG I'M FINALLY BACK GUYS 😭 I was on a week trip and didn't have my phone and them just like DID NOT have any time at all, so I just had this story unfinished with only a little missing. Lol, anyways, I finally finished this and I hope u enjoyedddd!!

tags!

@freyathehuntress

[innies-goth-gf]

How they like to hold your hand

[Skz Headcanons - Hyung Edition]

How the skz boys like to hold your hand

Pairing : Hyung line 🐺🐈‍⬛🐰🥟 x Reader Genre : Fluff 🪽 Synopsis : How the Skz Hyung line would hold your hand Notes : Hey it’s been a while since I updated sorry about that. A while ago I took a break from school which was supposed to be a few months but it’s been extended till next year so I thought I should make the most of this time and get more into writing. Anyways this is my first post like this so I hope you enjoyyy! (No beta we die like Jeongin!) [Master List]

Bangchan :

Chris isn’t one to interlock fingers, he much rather hold your palm against his, feeling how it engulfs your very own

This also makes it easier to kiss the back of your hand, he loves nothing more than doing that

He never fails to kiss it hello or goodbye anytime he picks it up or has to let it go

He’ll basically do it any chance he gets, often when you both stop before crossing the street

He also loves to swing his hand while he’s holding yours, he just can’t be still with you

Chris is one to lead the way while you walk, but especially while you hold hands

He likes being able to lead you anywhere he pleases

When it gets colder he likes to slip your hand with his in his pocket, often switching between both your hands to warm one at a time (even tho you could put your free one in your pocket)

“Chris you know you don’t have to keep switching like this right?” You giggled as you looked up at him. “How else will I be your personal hand warmer then?!” He exclaims right back at you with a big grin on his face.

Lee know :

This man loves to have you as close as possible to him and having a firm grip on your hand

That’s why he lovesss wrapping his arm around yours and interlocking your fingers together

He likes to pull you in randomly whenever he feels like it, grabbing your arm and yanking you next to his side

He’s usually not super into pda but sometimes he just gets the urge to let everyone know what’s his

Quite often he likes to squeeze your hand to get your attention, only to turn away from you and ignore you as you question him

If he’s feeling extra mischievous he likes to bite your hand and keep an iron grip on it as you try to pull away

Other than that he’s really nice with hand holding

He often subconsciously starts to rub his thumb over the back of your hand

“Hey min,” you call to your boyfriend who seemed to be lost in his thoughts, your hands intertwined. He hums in response, his eyes falling on you right after. “Did you know when you stare off like that you start to rub my hand with your thumb? It’s really cute.” You say pointing at his still moving thumb. His eyes follow your finger, now looking down at your interwoven hands. He pauses for a bit before lifting your hand and chomping on it. “WHAT THE FUCK?”

Changbin :

Binnie likes to place his hand over yours and curl his fingers into your own as a means to hold on

He likes the way your fingers feel in his hand, it just feels right to him

Definitively keeps a tight grip on your hand, almost as if you’d disappear if he were to let go of it

Sometimes he ends up hurting your hand at times from squeezing too hard

It’s not on purpose though! His subconscious just thinks you’re too cute to let go (forgive him pls he didn’t mean to)

It’s not like you’d complain about him being clingy anyways, though he can be just a bit too much

Sometimes he likes to bring your hand up to his face and press his cheek into it

He says it’s because your hands and warmer and soft so they feel really nice on his face

“Binnie that’s the 10th time you’ve done that now,” a giggle escapes your lips as you coo at your boyfriend. “If you wanted me to pet you, you could’ve asked.” You boyfriend pouts at you “It’s better this way.” He replies as he presses himself further into your hand.

Hyunjin :

He likes to interlock fingers, it makes him feel like your hands are fit together like a puzzle piece

Plus his grip on your hand is pretty loose so the intertwining makes it so your hands don’t separate

Hyunjin is one to appreciate and observe the scenery of the walk

That’s why he likes to let you lead the way while walking together

It lets him observe more without having to watch where he goes (including you, best part of the scenery ofc!)

He’s also a hand swinger, just kinda start randomly without realizing it

Also a hand kisser but definitely not as much as Chris

He always compliments and kisses you right after wards, he feels it’s only right

“Mwah!” Your boyfriend says as he lays a kiss right one the back of your hand. You fluster up, a shyness interlaced with your voice. “Why do you always do that at the most random times?” .“I just get the urge to, it’s hard to resist,” he replies with a grin. “But also you look really cute like that.” Before you get to reply Hyunjin lands a peck on your lips and starts pulling you down the street like nothing ever happened.

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

autism in china

if you been here for long enough you probably know that even me fucking explicitly naming country of origin & ethnicity instead of vague around something east asian, huge deal.

so.

as chinese person who born & part grew up in mainland china n been though HORRIFIC trauma from it... cannot talk about anything related to it.

but in mean time. there important things desperately wish non-chinese, or people who lived) in china in general (including diasporas), would know n understand.

because it been extra traumatizing & isolating n lonely, be only person in big metaphorical or literal room, who know these trauma exist, n horrific extent of it. some of which have live experience with. some of it looming threat for my future. some of it not my own experience but my friends (aka my community. my autistic n disabled community).

so, going share some stuff written by other chinese people in this post. that. oh gods. it so accurate it hurt.

there may be some parts not fully agree or would word different if am write. but. think overall message important enough.

especially if you non-chinese. hope you read through all of it (if accessible). even if it make you deeply uncomfortable. n then imagine autistic chinese people living in this reality. because many parts SHOULD make you deeply uncomfortable.

EDIT: image description link for those need ID or not have instagram

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fact is, most prevalent, majority—n by majority don’t mean 51% majority, but enough to feel like it hopelessly whole entire country—understanding of autism in china is that. there real autism (真自闭症) that rare n severe n hopeless n should die, n majority of cases fake autism (假自闭症) that can be cured / taken off hat 脱帽, that caused by environment like bad parenting, n you should be glad it fake, n kid n parent should then dedicate entire life to taking off that hat to finding cure, even if it mean , via old school gold standard (read: abuse) ABA. all professionals say it all professionals endorse it n who would question professionals? look this grande new intervention came from great United States Of America, that proof it top quality it works n am going charge ridiculous money for it. but why you saying USAmericans n “the west” saying [things that humanize autism], they wouldn’t know real struggle, their diagnostic criteria super wide it all fake, why would you listen to them, you traitor you boot licker. —but either way, both real n fake autism drain on public resources n should be kept away should be locked up in chains (no, literally. seen documentary where high support needs autistic get chain in closet for majority of day, “for his benefit.”), should never be born should all die. keep it away from my normal children my normal children should not have to share same space same classroom same world as it, its behaviors its symptoms its screams its existence rob teachers attention away from my normal children. they all should die n will proudly explicitly admit eugenics good.

(don’t actually believe this. but pretending write what have seen people talk about.)

-

n finally, post about general (visible) disability—because in my however many year grow up there, before (temporarily it seems) left, have never seen visibly disabled person in public. ever.

ever.

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n generally anything from this instagram account. need stop linking now or else link entire account.

.

so please. reblog this. share this. read this. don’t let me be only person bear this. because my god it breaking me

[athenas-only-daughter]

Haunting the Canvas - The Clea Post

spurred on by conversations I've been having with @linka-from-captain-planet, I'm collecting the info we've been able to gather about Clea here, under a read-more for spoilers, because if you run around act 3, there's actually QUITE a bit to glean about her.

This is gonna be a living/edited post as we find more info! Pls let me know if you guys see anything that's missing, find out new info, etc!

Truly as soon as you get to act three, you can't go three feet without bumping into a sidequest that has to do with Clea in some regard. She is HAUNTING the canvas almost as much as real!Verso and she's not even dead.

First and foremost, The Fading Woman is often Clea! Sometimes it's Aline (if she's sad, it's Aline) but especially in act 3 it's Clea. Particularly at the Endless Tower location. If you want to glean more about Clea, I recommend talking to the fading woman when you see her, particularly as Maelle.

Clea is the eldest sibling, this is made plain during Maelle's companion quest at The Reacher

Also in this quest Maelle implies that Clea is Renoir's favorite. Verso disputes this, saying Alicia was his favorite child. However, earlier in a conversation with Lune, Verso says Clea was Renoir's favorite. Seems like there's some nuance here!

Clea has her own axon! If you were like 'hey Renoir made Axons for the rest of his family, where is Clea's?' it's easy to miss but it's the Axon in old Lumiere that's already dead (more on this later)

Clea's Axon seems to be called 'The Hauler' and is carrying part of the world on its back (incredibly on brand Eldest Daughter Shit)

Aline also painted a version of Clea - she is no longer with the painted family and is now trapped in the Flying Manor location by Clea herself.

Clea seemed to not like the portrait Aline painted of her, or at the very least resents her parents trying to portray her in the canvas full stop (she also dislikes the Axon). This led to Clea painting over her mother's version of her and leaving her in the painting to continue her work of making Nevrons.

We know Clea is making the Nevrons thanks to dialogue in the Fountain and Flying Manor quests, as well as Clea's dialogue to Maelle before act 3 AND dialogue with the Fading Woman in the Endless Tower.

The only Nevrons that are NOT Clea's are the ones on the Axon Islands, those are Renoir's.

On that note, why is Clea making Nevrons? she's using them to stop the chroma from returning to her mother when the painted citizens die, hoping to speed along her parents' conflict and then end this once and for all.

Also on this note! Clea is also making the painted WHITE Nevrons that we see and help. I'm still not 100% sure why, but we find this out by talking to Blanche during the Fountain quest, who has the special task of killing all of Clea's failed Nevrons, because god forbid someone see she made a mistake (perfectionist eldest daughter Clea Dessendre I am studying you sooo closely)

Painted Clea had a romance! with a painted lumiere citizen named Simon (he can be fought by reaching the Abyss in Renoir's Drafts)

Real!Clea apparently shared none of her painted counterpart's affections because she tricked him by pretending to be painted!Clea and gave him enough power so he could kill her Axon (also through trickery).

Has entered the painting several times since the start of Aline and Renoir's conflict. Notably to make Nevrons, capture her painted counterpart, trick Simon, but also she met Expedition 00 at the barrier and told them everything. Then tried to kill them when they wouldn’t leave. She also came in and tried to recruit Verso at one point.

Her final time in the canvas, that we know of, was when she came in 16 years ago and told him to watch over Alicia/Maelle.

Clea thinks its safer for Alicia to be in the Canvas, away from the war.

On that note, there's a war! Clea is apparently fighting a war against the Writers near singlehandedly. Renoir calls this her 'solitary war' and Alicia/Maelle says she 'took Verso's death personally', so it seems she's seeking revenge.

Clea is noted by both Alicia/Maelle and painted!Verso as being the most talented painter of the three of them

Also plays the harp!

There's a record you can unlock play at camp called "Clea! Don't Pull Your Sister's Hair!"

Clea seems to have stopped playing in the Canvas well before either of her siblings - Francois is mentioned as missing her for over a hundred years, well before the fracture.

Francois and Clea used to sing together!

Much of the original canvas was made my Verso and Clea together. In the Endless Tower, the Fading Woman (Clea, here) says that she "spent far more time" in the canvas than Alicia and that she painted "half this world with Verso"

Despite this, Clea does not share her family's same fixation on it and seems to dislike their meddling with it - her mother's painted creations, her father's axons, etc. She does not consider the painting 'real', but "was perfectly fine to leave Maman here to work on her sorrows", and says it's Alicia's choice if she stays. She seems equally dismissive of her parents, saying that Aline "doesn't want help" and Renoir is "wasting time" when she needs his help.

There's a Fading Boy and another fragment of Clea in Fading Leaves. The Clea fragment has been erasing things from the canvas, 'out of respect for him, his creations and the things they made together'. We can infer she's talking about Verso here. The Fading Boy (remember, a fragment of Verso's soul) seems to be disheartened by this.

ETA: In the Painting Workshop, the Fading Boy talks to you about both real!Clea and Painted!Clea. It's hard to parse which is which but it seems like Real!Clea might have made the Lampmaster specifically to spook Verso, maybe when they were kids? The Fading Boy implies that he told Clea he was scared of the dark and she made him the world's most haunted nightlight (sisters amiright?)

Additionally, he mentions 'jealousy' so it seems Clea was, at times, jealous of Verso. This tracks with her being the most talented painter of the 3 but overlooked for her brother and also with something the Fading Boy says at the start of the flying manor that seems to be about Clea (not sure whether real or painted): "Everything is always about her. Her paintings, her sculptures. Everything has to be perfect, but perfect I have never been"

ETA: In Old Lumiere, the Fading Man (Renoir) seems to have some interesting things to say about 'she who painted nevrons' aka Clea: "She wasn't scared of death itself. / She was sad because there are more works of art than she'd ever be able to see in her lifetime. / So many fables from around the world that she'd never be able to collect. To bring her life in her workshop. / All the beauty in the world she'd never get to experience. That saddened her."

He also says that Clea "loved to challenge him" and that they were "the most alike"

ETA: At the Forgotten Battlefield, there's a Clea Fading Woman who asks Maelle if she can help and when Maelle is confused, says "I guess not. Pity. I'd hoped to return to more important matters. But instead I must occupy my time with... this." She then tells Maelle to "Go and play with your friends. I'll handle this."

[imnotshua]

who's your worm guy? - wjh | part 1 of 2

٠࣪⭑ pairing: wen junhui x fem reader ٠࣪⭑ summary: your final project is due far too soon and you’re stumped for ideas. that is until you pick up a part time job in the ticket booth at your local water park and you meet the most– uh– interesting employees. this includes a wen junhui, food and beverage supervisor, whose creativity sparks most when he’s hazy and slacking off. ٠࣪⭑ genre: coworkers au. smut (eventual), fluff, crack ٠࣪⭑ rating: explicit. minors do not interact, i'll block you. ٠࣪⭑ warnings: stoner junhui, drinking, swearing, possible violations of health and safety regulations ٠࣪⭑ smut contents: catch 'em at it in part 2 (posting asap) if you think i've forgotten anything please let me know so i can fix my post! ٠࣪⭑ wc: 11.3k ٠࣪⭑ a/n: thank u to my loves @100vern and @starlightkyeom who always chat with me about my silly little guys and read my shit before u see it. and thank you again to jewel who made the banner! ily both always ٠࣪⭑ written for: the carat bay collab, hosted by @camandemstudios! thank you both for letting me join in! please look out for the rest of the fics 💕

edit to add: my italics have disappeared after posting?? but it’s 1:40am so i’ll fix that tomorrow night because i’m picking up my puppy tomorrow morning 😭

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · · You’re going to kill Mingyu for dropping you off a whole hour early.

“I’m going to kill Mingyu,” you complain.

“It’s not his fault he has a meeting,” murmurs Soonyoung, trying not to yawn.

“You should drive us,” you say.

“Pay for my car to be fixed and I’ll think about it.”

Soonyoung said he’d introduce you to everyone this morning, but apparently you two are the first staff on site today, save for the one elderly security guy who grumbled about unlocking the gates for you on arrival, so now it’s your job to take over the staff sign-ins. Soonyoung is sitting on your desk, legs swinging below him, and grumbling about not having had time for breakfast.

“I’m gonna waste away,” he whines. “Can I have some of your banana?”

You shovel the remaining half in your mouth and Soonyoung scowls. “Sowee.”

“Dickhead.”

You grin around the banana mush and Soonyoung pushes himself off the desk.

“I’m gonna raid the snackbar– oh no, do not look at me like that. You’re not getting a thing.”

You swallow thickly, it makes a gross sound. “We get to raid the snackbar? There’s a snackbar?”

“Are you an idiot? Of course there’s a snackbar. And officially, no we don’t get to raid it, but unofficially Junhui doesn’t care.”

“What do they have?“

“Snackbar stuff, I don’t know.” Soonyoung shrugs. “Leave me alone now, I’m leaving.”

You grab at him. “Please please please can I have something bready. I need carbs or I’ll die. I need coffee. Please Soonyoung, please.”

“Ew oh my God, get off me, freak.”

Thirty minutes later, he still isn’t back, and you’ve got your head in your arms on your desk. You’re famished. You’re wasting away. You’re–

“Hi.”

You lift your head to see there’s a blonde man outside your booth. You’re stunned, is what you are. He’s maybe the prettiest man you’ve ever seen. You blink, still sleepy, and say, “Sorry, we’re not open yet.”

He blinks comically slow. “Uh– no. I work here.”

He points to the little visor with Carat Bay’s logo printed on the front, perched atop his head. Red and white. Makes him look like a Pokemon trainer.

“Oh. What’s your name?”

“I’m Jun– Junhui.” He goes to shake your hand but stops when he seemingly remembers there’s a pane of glass separating you. Oh my God, he’s cute.

You make your eyes go big. “No fucking way, dude,” you exclaim. “That’s my name too.”

You have no words to describe his expression, but you have to work hard to keep your face straight.

“Really?”

“Really. You wanna see my birth certificate?”

His eyes narrow. “Your name isn’t Jun.”

“No, it’s Jun Junhui.” The corners of your lips twitch.

“Are you new?”

“Yup,” you say. “Started yesterday.”

It’s April, and the water park adjoining the area’s most popular resort is just opening up again for the season. The only reason you got this job is because you were bullied into it by your roommates, Soonyoung and Minghyu, who would really really like it if you didn’t go into debt this time to make your share of the rent (they never listen when you tell them that’s what your student loan is there for) and both of whom have been working here for years.

Your place is supposed to be (strictly) a student let, but Soonyoung dropped out within the first two months of university, and has since worked two jobs most of the year, and somehow fits in a lifeguarding position at Carat Bay April through October. Mingyu worked the hotel reception for a while, graduated two years ago, and now he works as the resorts’ LFTS Coordinator. Whatever that means. He’s well paid and could move into somewhere much nicer, but he says he likes the company (for some reason) and he’s saving to buy a house in a nicer part of the city, so he’ll stay so long as your landlord keeps avoiding all contact. Anyway, what’s crucial here is that they’ve forgotten what it’s like to live as a poverty stricken film student. (You’re fine, just a little broke.)

The turn of winter into spring has been marred by your lack of 1) funds, 2) social life, and 3) inspiration. You’ve got a few months before your final project is due but it’s supposed to be half done by now, and you’re struggling to find a drop of creativity. Your last attempt fell through as you were two thirds into filming thanks to your useless fuck of a partner, and you spent weeks trying to work through it by yourself before giving up entirely. There were too many plates for one person to keep spinning. Your notebooks are a mess of scratched out ideas and fragmented thoughts. It doesn’t need to be long– in fact, shorter is probably better. Quality over quantity and all that. You thumb through Mingyu’s books, love letters your grandparents wrote, Soonyoung’s softcore porn collection (why does he have them in magazine format anyway? Is he from the 80s?) and the old photographs tucked away in your parents garage for inspiration– but it doesn’t come. You had wanted something romantic, something sweet and full of feeling, but everything came to a standstill. Maybe you’re just bitter that you’ve been left to pick up the pieces of a failed start.

Maybe you’re bitter about Jiho. It was fun while it lasted, but he is precisely the reason you had your preference for crushes over relationships in the first place. It’s not your fault he slipped in during the night. It’s not that your feelings are hurt, per se. It’s more that the chance for something real wasn’t there for the taking like you’d come to think. It’s more that you’d rather have just kept it light like always, and he didn’t, and then you didn’t, and the safety net wasn’t there when you needed it. It’s something of a relief that he got himself kicked off the course when he did. You haven’t spoken since.

Back to the point– item 1 is how you end up working (just part time, you’re not as ambitious (read: insane) as your roommates) in the ticket booth at Carat Bay. You didn’t get to meet many of your coworkers yesterday, since the morning was eaten up by induction (not much to induct, you think, since all there is to do is take the money, push a few buttons, give customers their wristbands, and make sure to upsell the goggles.) and lunch was taken in a break room that was completely empty, save for a few harvest spiders and one dead wasp.

You learned quickly (from Joshua, the other ticket staff who sits across the entryway) that the shifts are long and boring, since you’ll be sitting in a single occupancy booth for four to eight hours. Apparently it’s a rush of people at opening, having barely-there interactions with most of the patrons, and they come in dribs and drabs throughout the day. Occasionally a lost kid will wander over, and you’ll get to make a call for their adult over the tannoy. Before you knew it, Mingyu was scolding Soonyoung for leaving handprints and kiss marks on your window (someone has to clean that, Soonyoung!), and it was time to go home.

“What’s your real name?” says Jun Not Junhui, leaning in through your open window to look for the name badge that you’ve forgotten to put on. He smells like your type- good weed and expensive soap.

You tell him the truth this time, since he’ll find out soon enough anyway, and he repeats it for confirmation. Twice. You roll your lips between your teeth in effort not to laugh.

“Soonyoung’s talked about you a lot,” he says, looking you over. “You don’t seem evil.”

“You should’ve seen me an hour ago,” you grin. “You run the snackbar?”

Jun blinks, surprised. “Food and Beverage Manager. Did I say that already? I didn’t feel my mouth move.”

“No,” you say. “Soonyoung mentioned you. He’s gone to the snack bar to get us breakfast.”

His eyes blow wide. Panicked, he says, “Kwon Soonyoung is in my kitchen?”

“Uh–”

“He’s using my kitchen?”

“Um–”

“Why didn’t you say that earlier?”

“Why would I say that?”

He doesn’t reply. He takes off sprinting into the park, yelling Soonyoung’s name, and as he disappears around the corner of the locker rooms, you remember that you’re supposed to check everyones’ staff ID cards. Oops.

Soonyoung walks back over a minute later, one to-go coffee stacked precariously on top of the other, and a couple of paper bags clutched in his other hand.

“I just met Jun,” you say, taking the balanced cup from him as soon as he gets to your booth. You take a sip– it tastes burned, but it’s caffeine. Anything will do.

“Yeah, I figured. I heard him screaming like a banshee and had to hide in the log flume so he didn’t see me,” he grumbles. He tosses a paper bag at you. Inside is an egg and cheese bagel. “My ass is wet.”

“You’re a lifeguard in a water park. You’re wearing board shorts. Isn’t getting wet part of the job description?”

“Not before nine AM.”

“Thought you said he didn’t mind people raiding the kitchen?” You take a bite of your bagel. It’s– uh. It’s edible.

Soonyoung smiles mischievously. “Well yeah, so long as he’s there to supervise. He doesn’t like anyone touching his precious fridge magnets.”

“He didn’t seem like a manager.”

“He’s full of surprises, that one.”

You’re interrupted by the sound of slammed car doors and a rev of the engine as it pulls away, and a moment later, in trudge a bunch of guys in a uniform similar to Soonyoung’s. White polo shirt, pink board shorts, comically small pink visor. You want one too, why haven’t you got a visor? Soonyoung wears a white shirt too, but his has ‘LIFEGUARD’ emboldened on both sides in red. You just get the white polo, three sizes too large because it was either this or one that was clearly from unsold children’s merch stock. Nothing cute in pink, or blue like Joshua.

“Who are they?”

Soonyoung points them out left to right. “Chan, mat racing. Minghao, kiddie slide. Vernon, wave pool. Seungcheol, hot springs.” You’ve heard a lot about these guys at home.

When they get to your booth and Soonyoung starts introductions, Chan hangs back a little.

“Oh my God,” he says, wide eyed. “A woman.”

You stare at him.

“Sorry about him.” Minghao grimaces as he presses his ID against your window. “He didn’t mean that in a weird way.”

“Is there a not-weird way?” you ask, tapping his name on the ipad to mark him signed in.

“There hasn’t been a woman hire in like, eight years,” explains Seungcheol, showing his ID too. “There was a little scandal with the HR guy last season. Turns out he ran some incel subreddit and it bled into his hiring practice.”

There’s a long pause while you wait for someone– anyone– to laugh. No one does.

“You’re joking?”

“He’s been sacked. Don’t worry.”

You rag a hand over your face. “You’re telling me I’m the only woman who’s worked here in nearly a decade?”

The four men stare at you. If this were a sitcom you’d be hearing crickets.

You turn on Soonyoung, who’s trying to escape out of your booth unnoticed. Too slow.

“AH! Let go!”

“Why wouldn’t you tell me that, Soonyoung?” You tighten your grip on his hair. He yelps. “Doesn’t that seem like crucial information your best friend should know before taking a job here? It does, doesn’t it?”

“I forgot, you psychopath! Best friends don’t hurt each other!”

You twist and Soonyoung falls into a squat in an effort to break free, smacking at your hand. “Men best friends tell their women best friends when they’re stepping into a testosterone fuelled snake pit.”

“Little harsh,” whistles Minghao. “The snakes are standing right here.”

“There was that one woman,” says Vernon, tongue pushed into the fat of his cheek, eyes up in thought. “The elderly one. What was her name? Jun’s cook from a few years ago?”

“The one he killed?” asks Chan.

“What?” you sputter, releasing Soonyoung, who falls backwards out the door.

“He didn’t kill her,” insists Minghao.

“She’s not even dead,” says Vernon, brow furrowed. “Jun visited her two weeks ago.”

“She had a stroke, didn’t she?” questions Seungcheol.

Minghao rolls his eyes. “It was never proven that it was Jun’s fault though.”

Is everyone working here insane?

You can hear flip flops smacking the pavement and you turn to look– Soonyoung is running away. Fearing premature hair loss, probably. You and the guys watch him go.

“He’ll suffer later,” you reassure yourself.

“So– uh– you live with Soonyoung?” asks Seungcheol. “And the events guy?”

“Events guy?”

“Mingyu,” confirms Vernon.

Events– is that what Mingyu does? What the fuck does FSHL stand for then?

“That’s me.”

“We’re not all incels,” says Chan. “We only had one.”

Everyone turns to look at him. Minghao’s mouth is hanging open and Vernon is wide eyed and tight-lipped, trying not to laugh.

“Okaaay?”

“Well. Only one that we know of,” he blurts. “Although–”

He’s cut off as Minghao elbows him hard in the ribs.

“We’ll be seeing you then!” Seungcheol smiles. “What time is your lunch?”

“Twelve–thirty.”

“Same as me,” Vernon pipes up. “Wanna meet some of us at Sharkbait?”

“Where?”

“Jun’s place–” Vernon taps the spot on the map taped to your window. “Next to the log flume. It’s where we all take our breaks.”

Explains the empty break room. You’re not sure how safe you’ll be in Jun Not Junhui’s territory, given recent revelations, but you’re curious.

“Sure, see you then.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Sharkbait is pretty small. The exterior is pastel blue, serves what can only be described as beige food, and there’s a huge plastic shark in sunglasses and bermuda shorts riding a surfboard attached to the roof. It’s nestled amongst a bunch of other themed eateries, and the tables on the veranda outside are spilling over with people. There’s a long line of people queuing, and one bored teenager behind the counter on the left. Soonyoung is at the other end of the bar, pouring himself a drink and chewing on a peperami. He waves you over when he spots you.

“Hey,” he says, as you reach the bar. “We’re friends right?”

“I guess,” you say, shrugging. It’s been eight years, you’re stuck like glue. “Why?”

“Will you settle something for us?”

“Us?” you ask, peering over the counter, because save for the kid working the till, he’s the only one there.

Soonyoung ignores your question. “Is a waffle just a grilled pancake?”

“What?” you say, leaning on the counter and unboxing your sandwich. It’s gone all soggy and gross next to your salad.

Vernon pops his head through a hatch behind Soonyoung. He’s eating a hard-boiled egg.

“Pancakes are waffles– same ingredients, same thing, right?” says Vernon.

Your eyebrows furrow. “By that logic ice cream is just frozen flavoured butter.”

“Yeah!” shouts Vernon, pointing his egg at you. “See, she gets it.”

“Pretty sure that wasn’t her getting it,” says Soonyoung. “Pretty sure she was saying butter and ice cream are distinctly different things.”

Vernon scoffs and his eyes slide over to you. “Is that what you meant?”

You shrug, too busy inspecting your wet bread, looking for a bit that isn’t mushy. Your stomach rumbles so loud that the guys stare at you quietly for a moment.

“Agree with me and I’ll get Jun to make you a grilled cheese.”

Two cheese heavy meals in a day? Your guts might complain but your mouth certainly won't. “Sold.”

“That’s bribery,” argues Soonyoung. He turns on you. “I’ll remember this, traitor.”

Vernon laughs. “Wanna come hang out back here?”

You nod, and Vernon disappears out of view. You make your way around the bar, and follow Soonyoung through the door to the kitchen.

Jun is already starting on your grilled cheese. He’s slicing the bread and offering you a smile as you walk in and copy Vernon and Soonyoung, pulling yourself up to sit on the only counter not being used for prepping food. Jun is wearing his visor backwards, and there’s flour (powdered sugar?) dusting his nose. Cute.

“Hi Jun Junhui.”

He blinks, confused. “Sorry, it’s just Jun– not Junhui.”

Oh, so he’s easy to fuck with.

“Junnot Junhui?”

He stares at you blankly. “Call me Jun.”

“I’ll try to remember,” you say, with mock-earnest. “But Junnot is pretty cemented in there now.” You rap your knuckles on your head. “Ow.”

Jun glances at Soonyoung. “Is she always like this?”

“Yeah,” he sighs, dramatically. “She’s even worse when you get to know her. Problem is she’s actually pretty useful so you end up keeping her around.”

You grin. “I’m like a bedbug.”

Vernon frowns. “What’s great about bedbugs?”

“Huh,” you say, thinking hard. He’s got a point. You click your fingers– “A rat!”

“If I found a rat in my kitchen I’d get the traps out,” says Jun flatly, and then clarifies– “The no-kill ones. I’m not a monster.”

“Type two diabetes?” offers Vernon.

Soonyoung shakes his head. “She’s not sweet enough.”

“Dandelions,” cuts in a voice behind you, making you jump. Mingyu’s face is peeking through the hatch, he looks so out of place here, in his crisp shirt and expensive blue tie. The others go a little quiet in his presence, so you wonder how often he spends time out of his office in the resort.

“For fuck’s sake,” you groan, scowling. “Could you breathe louder so we in the land of the living know you’re coming?”

“Dandelions are perfect,” Soonyoung agrees, clicking his fingers. “Annoying, everywhere-“

“Can’t get rid of them-“ Mingyu chimes in.

“Suck a dick and die, assholes.”

A wicked grin spreads across Soonyoung’s face. “Kind of ugly until the sun comes up-“

“I’m not ugly,” you say with a petulant pout. “I’m an easy eight, nine on a good hair day.”

“Ten,” says Jun quickly. You give him a thumbs up and he smiles, casting his eyes down to focus very hard on grating cheese. You’re making him your new favourite.

“We’ve seen you drunk with your head in a toilet,” says Mingyu simply. “We’ve seen you when pneumonia bit your ass so hard you didn’t shower for nearly two weeks.”

“You smelled so baaaaad, dude,” nods Soonyoung emphatically.

You pull an affronted face. “I feel like looking like shit while having a life-threatening illness shouldn’t count against me, actually.”

“Every time you coughed you almost peed yourse–”

“Key word being almost–” you interrupt, nearly yelling. You turn to face the people you met just a few hours ago to insist– “I’ve never peed myself.”

Soonyoung laughs, delighted.

“Say something nice about dandelions or I’ll cry.”

Mingyu looks up into his big empty brain to think. “Good for bees…” he trails off.

Jun cuts in- “and for making wishes on.”

“Thanks so much, guys. Way to make a girl feel good.” You roll your eyes. “What are you here for, anyway?” you say to Mingyu. “Are you keeping tabs on me?”

Mingyu raises an eyebrow. “No,” he says, reaching through the hatch and holding out a sheet of paper for Vernon to take. “We’ve got a crew on site in two weeks, they’re filming the ads for the summer. They’ll want to–”

“Uhh, hello?” you interject. Mingyu looks at you expectantly. “Why are you paying a film crew when you literally have an in-house filmography student?”

“No offence,” he starts gently, and he does actually look like he means it. “But this might be above your pay grade. You know this is a multi-million dollar resort, right?”

“Damn. Fair enough,” you say. You didn’t realise that, actually. You knew it was nice, sure, but Jesus Christ. “Out of curiosity, what’s the budget for the filming?”

“Just the film crew?” he asks. You nod. “Sixty thousand, ish.”

You whistle, low. “Could’ve paid my rent with that.”

Mingyu laughs in a fake way.

“I’ll keep you in mind next time,” he says. “Haven’t they given you your proper uniform yet?”

You glance down at your much too-big polo shirt. “Should I be in something different?”

“You should be in blue. White means you’re first aid trained.”

“Oh shit, yeah,” you say, eyes widening. “No one wants me doing mouth to mouth, I’d be more likely to kill them.”

Vernon cackles and kicks at Jun, who ignores him.

“Yup,” agrees Mingyu. “Call in at reception at closing and we'll get Seokmin to find you the right kit.”

You nod, and with a wave to the group, he’s gone.

“Any allergies? Is there anything you don’t like?” Jun asks.

“No allergies. But a big no to beans. Texture’s weird.”

“Got it.”

Soonyoung makes to leave, his break’s over. As the door shuts behind him, the remaining three of you settle into comfortable conversation. You ask Jun and Vernon how long they’ve worked here– five and three years respectively. Vernon grew up here, like you and Soonyoung, just a different part of the city. Tutors English via Zoom as his main job, but he works the wave pool every year just for the plot, apparently. Jun got a job here during a summer trip and never left. He works in the resort kitchen during the off-season, but he prefers it out here in the park.

“Less eyes on you,” he says, drizzling something red and sticky over your sandwich. He presses the pieces together, and moves it over to the grill.

“How ominous.”

Jun smiles but doesn’t elaborate. “You’re a film student?”

“Yeah,” you say, sighing dramatically. “Until I get kicked out for failing.”

“Why are you failing?” asks Vernon, around a mouthful of fries.

Two months, three weeks, and one day left. You have nothing, nada, zilch. Stumped for ideas, inspiration, and manpower. Fuck Jiho and his absent manpower.

“Got a project due soon that I haven’t even started– well, I did start, but then my partner got kicked out of school and it was too big to keep going by myself. So now I need something new.”

“What’s the brief?”

“We’ve got a lot of creative freedom to be honest. Fiction, non-fiction– doesn’t matter. Just needs to be between twenty and thirty minutes and have a quote-unquote nostalgic feel.”

“Sounds simple enough,” says Vernon, casually.

“Uh huh,” you deadpan. “You come up with something for me then, Mr Spielberg.”

He’s biting his lip, embarrassed, while Jun laughs, plating your grilled cheese next to a much more appealing salad.

“Order up.”

“Ooh thank you, this looks way better than what I had.”

Jun eyes the box sitting next to you. “Not a difficult challenge to beat.”

“Hm, I’m not much of a cook,” you say, pausing to take a bite. Oh God. It’s spicy and sweet and cheesy. It’s the best thing you’ve ever eaten. The best thing you’ve ever eaten from a place called Sharkbait and made by a guy who smells like weed. How tragic. “This is– uh– it’s pretty good.”

Jun scoffs. “It’s really good. They won’t let me put it on the menu though.”

“Fuck those guys,” says Vernon.

Jun smiles. “Yeah. Fuck ‘em.”

You devour your lunch in record time. Jun looks pleased with himself as he rushes out the rest of the orders coming through from out front, and Vernon says his goodbyes as he heads back to the wave pool.

And then it’s just the two of you. Jun works fast and methodically. He doesn’t talk so much as listens to you yap away, but answers a question here and there, laughs at your jokes.

“Hey, how come you’re the manager if you don’t have anyone here to like– manage?”

“It’s usually just me in the kitchen ever since Marnie had an aneurysm, and Jay out front. I can handle it until high-season, and then they’ll hire a temp to see us through.”

You mull this over. “Don’t you get lonely?”

Jun shakes his head. “Everyone comes to visit me, I could use a little more alone time, actually.”

You pout. “So I shouldn’t come back for lunch tomorrow?”

Pink creeps up his neck, and he turns to busy himself tossing the fries in seasoning. “I didn’t say that.”

“Cool,” you say. “Cause I’m gonna need one of those off-menu grilled cheeses for every single shift I pick up.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

It turns out everyone who works here is a comedian and/or an idiot, as evidenced when you meet Seokmin, Front Office Manager, and the most sunshine personified dude you’ve ever met.

You turn up at the resort’s reception at closing hours, and now you know why your parents never brought you to the restaurant here for your birthday dinner all these years, because God is it expensive. It’s all marble floors, and gilded details, but in that elegant way that doesn’t throw the money in your face.

Seokmin brings you into the office and motions for you to have a seat while he calls the uniform company.

He smiles brightly as he asks them for your size, then falters.

“You only do unisex clothes?” Seokmin says into the receiver. “Don’t you do unisex for women?”

You poorly disguise your snort as a sneeze as he doesn’t appear to understand whatever the sales rep is telling him.

“Unisex is fine,” you whisper, and Seokmin smiles at you with relief.

He’s still on the phone a minute later, when Mingyu pops his head in the open door.

“Soonyoung’s got a date, I’ve had a day from hell, and you’re my only irresponsible friend,” he whispers. “Wanna come get high with me?”

“Hell yeah,” you say, jumping up as Seokmin waves you off. Wait– “Fuck you, man, who are you calling irresponsible?”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Your plug’s place isn’t far, a ten minute walk at most. On the way you talk about work, you ask questions about the people you’ve met so far, but Mingyu doesn’t know them as well as he’d like. He’s always shut in the office. You ask what his job title is again, he levels you with a look, and he tells you– LTPS. Or something. He’s in charge of like, resort events and some other really boring shit like– uh– whatever, you’ve already forgotten.

Mingyu concedes he’s buying, since he has been extra snappy lately, but that’s just on account of the extra pressure that comes with the busy season. Once he’s into the swing of summer, he settles down and he’s back to his usual loveable self.

Not long later, you’re standing in Mark’s kitchen, staring at him in disbelief.

Mingyu isn’t sure either. He tugs at your hand holding the bag, sniffs, and immediately recoils. “This smells like shit, man. Don’t you have what we usually get?”

“Frosty Flurkle is so goooood, dude,” Mark insists. “My buddy grew that!”

“Tell your buddy that the people don’t want to smoke lavender and cat vomit. Not for twenty-five a gram.”

He snatches the bag out of your hands. “Well I dunno what to tell you, this is what I’ve got.” Mark puffs out his chest. “I’m his sole dealer.”

“Hmmm.” You draw out the sound. “Maybe you should have a little think about why that is.”

Mark scoffs. “Do you want it or not?”

You look at Mingyu. He looks at you. Your last dealer moved across the country, and you can’t be bothered searching out anyone else at this time of night. Might as well take one gram, you say with your eyes, see if it’s better once it’s in your system. Would be silly to go home empty handed, you assume Mingyu says with his.

“One gram,” you say. “And we’re only paying fifteen.”

“Twenty tw–”

“Sevente–“

One hour and twenty dollars later, you feel sick to your stomach, Mingyu is clutching his head, and you set a reminder to hire an Etsy witch to curse Mark’s entire bloodline. Then you order cheese fries and fall into a restless sleep before they even arrive.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Sunday is probably the worst day to be at work. Why would you pick up a shift on a Sunday when you have so many assignments to procrastinate on? Especially this Sunday, when you’re feeling the fuzzy effects of a crappy high, an empty stomach, and a bad night’s rest.

“Woah,” says Jun upon arrival. He smells much nicer than the Foisty Flumple you had last night. Good weed and nice perfume. And pretty. God, he looks amazing. On a better day you’d flirt outrageously with him, but today is one of those days where it was an effort to wash your face, let alone put on makeup. What a cruel, awful world. “You look–”

“If you don’t say some variation of stunning, beautiful, and/or captivating, Jun Junhui, I will eat you alive.”

He grins. “Ravishing.”

Your brows pinch together and a smile tugs at the corner of your mouth.

“Interesting choice.”

“Uh huh.” Jun rubs the back of his neck. “Hungover?”

You shake your head. “Bad high.”

“Want breakfast?” he asks. You perk up at that. Literally– your face immediately feels less grey. He laughs. “Sweet or savory?”

“Sweet please,” you say, leaning closer to the window. “Just like you.”

You’ve never seen a grown man blush harder. Cute.

He’s back a little later with an iced americano and a warm croissant, filled with raspberry jam, and dusted with sugar.

“Junnot Junhui, you’re the best,” you mumble around a bite. “I could kiss you.”

“Hahahaha,” says Jun, not casually at all. “I– uh– I’d–”

“I’m joking, Romeo.” You wipe the jam from the corner of your mouth. “Settle down, I can smell your adrenaline spiking from over here.”

“Oh, yeah I knew that,” he says, running a hand through his hair in what he must think seems nonchalant and chill. It isn’t. Your grin is akin to the Cheshire Cat.

“I don’t kiss people at work,” you say. And then, meeting his eyes, “You’ll have to take me on a date if you’d like one from me.”

Jun’s adams apple bobs in his throat.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You’re having lunch at the snackbar again, and this time it’s so rammed full with staff on their breaks, it takes Jun a little while to get around to handing over your sandwich. He goes silent when he works, only stopping to break the chaos with a sharp yell, anytime someone messes with the cat magnets on his fridge. You like watching him– his arms while he chops vegetables, the way his little muscles flex when he’s carrying a heavy box, the movement of his fingers when he’s sprinkling seasoning over a pan.

Jeonghan, who works the big slide, grins at you with sparkling eyes. You can sense his evil nature bubbling beneath that angelic facade– that’s best friend material. “You know you’re practically drooling, right?”

You pat your stomach. “Really hungry.”

“For the food or for Jun?”

You push your tongue into the fat of your cheek. “Both.”

Jun makes his way through the people crowding his station, plate held high above his head. He’s smiling lovely when he reaches you, and pushes the plate into your hands.

“Thanks, Junhui, you’re so sexy.” He’s immediately bright red, and Soonyoung throws a wet cloth at you. It smacks off your collar and drips dishwater down your shirt. “AH! Soonyoung, what the FUCK?”

“Don’t flirt with him!”

You wave at him dismissively. “I flirt with everyone.”

“You’ll corrupt my sweet, innocent, Junnot Junhui!”

Jun makes a frustrated sound. “Not you, too? How did I get this nickname?”

“You did it to yourself, sweetheart,” you say, fondly stroking his arm. It’s a feeble excuse to touch.

“You haven’t flirted with me yet,” complains Seungcheol.

You play your part and bat your eyelashes. “Oh, darling, would you like me to?”

He nods, making puppy-dog eyes and pouting. You squeeze his bicep and gasp for the drama of it. “Cheollie, have you been working out?”

Soonyoung gags, and you smirk. Jun looks down at his arms.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Despite the last experience, you are back at Mark’s. Mingyu had a particularly bad day in the office, you will do anything for the bit, and Mark has assured you that his supplier has something better.

You have your reservations, but surely nothing could be as bad as Foisty Farmyard. Surely?

It’s whatever. Mark cuts you a deal on account of your bad experience last time, and that should’ve been your first red flag. The second should’ve been that you met his supplier, Johnny, who apparently wears the jeans low enough to hang off his kneecaps and a huge, gold chain with a dollar sign unironically. But what a deal Mark cuts! Two grams for the price of one can’t be that bad.

Dear reader: it is that bad.

Mingyu greens out within ten minutes. You’re not far behind. Soonyoung comes home from his date and finds you both on the bathroom floor, rolls his eyes, and leaves you both to sort yourselves out.

In the morning, Soonyoung says that if you don’t find a witch to curse Mark, he certainly will.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

All of your new colleagues are easy to like (they’re loud, funny, sweet in their own ways), but it’s Jun who quickly becomes your favourite. Your shifts start with a sweet pastry and an iced americano, sometimes left in your booth with a note, sometimes hand delivered with a sleepy smile. You thought he was quiet, and he is, but he’s also sharp, and playful, and funny in that really cool, witty way. He shines brighter in quieter spaces, when fewer staff crowd his kitchen, and when he forgets his shyness. On the days he’s in early enough to deliver your breakfast, he’ll squeeze into your booth and take your chair while you sit on the counter, and he’ll try very hard to ignore the way you flirt with him.

You’ve been thinking about the vanilla danish he left on your desk all day, and with the way you had to skip lunch, you haven’t had a chance to thank him yet. Two minutes before your break starts is precisely when the film crew arrived on site and for some reason the office radioed through to make it your job to organise their visitor passes. There were so many of them it took up most of your break, and Joshua ended up having to bring you a neatly packaged panini from Jun to speed-eat on the floor of your booth. So with Mingyu’s meeting running over, and Soonyoung heading over to the lazy river to persuade Jihoon to come over for drinks, you rush through the park to catch Jun before he heads home.

The park is deathly quiet at this time– no patrons, no staff, no overplayed feel-good pop music playing from the speakers. From outside the snackbar looks spotless and empty, the hatch window firmly closed. It stinks, though. Jun is here, somewhere. Pushing open the door, the kitchen is just as clean as the front, but with a haze of smoke filling the room. You round the corner and find Jun laying on the floor– joint in hand, staring, unblinking, at the ceiling.

You kick his foot and he doesn’t move. “Dude, are you dead?”

“Maybe,” he chuckles. “Hey, did you know the camels in Petra have wifi?”

“Jesus Christ.”

“It’s true,” he insists, laughing so hard tears stream from his bloodshot eyes. “It’s shav– it’s shaved into their neck hair.”

You laugh. “That can’t be right.”

Jun pats the floor. “Sit with me, I wanna ask you stuff.”

You roll your lips between your teeth to stop your smile spreading further, and you sink cross-legged on the floor next to him. Jun rests his hand on your shoe, little finger tracing the edge of your sock.

“Can’t stay long, Mingyu’s driving us home,” you say, plucking the joint from his hand and taking a drag. “Holy shit, this is good. You wouldn’t believe the crap we picked up last.”

“Mhm, yeah it’s pretty nice.” Jun looks pleased with himself. “You live far?”

“That’s your question? Borrrrring.”

Jun turns to smile up at you, lazy and slow, with dark half-lidded eyes. God, he’s hot.

“No. I know where Soonyoung lives. And you live with Soonyoung.”

“You’ve been to our place?”

“Just once. You weren’t there. I’d have remembered.”

There are butterflies in your stomach. You let them swirl.

“Ask me something better, then.”

Jun stares at you. Quietly, he says, “I can’t think straight.”

His little finger brushes your ankle, pretty mouth parted, and looking like there are too many thoughts behind his eyes. Can’t sort through them, probably, on account of the weed fogging his brain, but it’s nicer to imagine it’s because of you. The silence hangs, so quiet you can almost hear the cogs turning.

You take another drag before offering up the joint above his mouth– your fingers brush his lips as you place the joint between them as he takes a hit. The softness of them is really fucking with you. Boys' lips shouldn’t be that soft. You should ask him what lip balm he uses.

It’s like this, quiet, and soft, and hazy for a little while, the joint getting shorter and shorter as you pass it back and forth. Your body goes liquid and heavy and Jun laughs along with you when you get the giggles over the feeling of his lips brushing your fingertips again. Feels weirdly intimate for sitting on the floor of an industrial kitchen.

“Question.”

“Hit me.”

“Have you–” A long pause. If he weren't looking directly at you you’d think he’d fallen asleep. “You ever been to the Galapagos Islands?”

“Uh,” you cough. “No.”

“Damn. I wanna know what the big heads feel like.”

“Probably really hard.”

Jun chews on his lip. “Yeah.”

Your phone is ringing. Feels like a million miles away. Mingyu’s name is on the screen, and you know you need to answer, but you’re high as shit and he’ll only give you grief for smoking at work. Something something unprofessional. Something something irresponsible. Something something hypocritical. You don’t want to hear it. You let it ring off, wait for a moment, and send him a text.

Me: hanging out with jun. i’ll get the bus

Gyu: You sure?

Me: yeah, won’t be long <3

Before you forget you look up the time for the bus– there aren’t many at this time of day– and set an alarm so you’ll make it to the bus stop in time.

Gyu: Be good. Don’t kill the guy

Me: would never kill the guy i have a big fat crush on

Gyu: 🙄 you have big fat crushes on everyone

“I’ve got one,” you say, leaning back against the dishwasher. Jun turns on his side to look at you properly. “What did you wanna be when you were a kid?”

The corners of his lips twitch. “Promise not to laugh at me?” You smile and shake your head, you’d never promise such a thing. Jun laughs, cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment. “I wanted– oh God. I wanted to be Jackie Chan.”

“An actor?”

“No, like actually him.” Jun is the first to start laughing, full body shakes, his hands fly up to cover his face, and you’re near silent with laughter just watching him. It’s not even that funny, but he is. “I wanted– I wanted to like.. morph into his body or something. I wanted become actual Jackie Chan.”

The silence you fall into is easy. There’s nothing left to smoke and the feeling sets in, a soft buzz in your body, heavy arms, heavy eyes. This is so nice.

“Got ‘nother one,” Jun says, after a little while. “What was your project about? The one you dropped.”

It’s hard to explain. “S’about how, like– like how crushes are better than the real thing, y’know?” Just looking at him, you can tell he doesn’t get it. “Like when you get a crush, and it’s fuzzy and silly and exciting, and everything about them feels electric. And you think they’re the best person you’ve ever met, and your stomach is in knots wondering what they think about you. And your imagination runs wild wondering how they like to kiss.”

Jun is staring at your lips. Your breath hitches. There are flashes of Jiho in your mind’s eye. It’s not like you loved him or anything, it was just turning into something a little more than like. Him in the morning, sleepy and soft, texting other girls. Him fresh out of the shower– water in his hair and running down his neck, snapping a selfie in the mirror to use on Tinder– then slipping back into bed just to get annoyed that he couldn’t make you come. More likely that you wouldn’t fake it for him. Whatever. A ‘red-flag’, your friends had called him. It’s okay. A walking reminder of why crushes reign supreme. It’s really okay, you weren’t in deep enough for it to matter.

“But six months later it’s real, and you can touch, but they don’t get you off like you’d hoped, you know? And you don’t like the way they kiss as much as you did in your imagination. And they don’t always say the right thing. They’re always competing with the imaginary version you made up of them, and you’re fighting something invisible to be seen as enough.”

“You keep saying ‘you know’,” he says carefully. “But this sounds like a unique experience.”

The silence hangs between you.

“Was it about you? You prefer limerence over the real thing?”

Yes and no. It’s not that you prefer limerence as such, but nothing you’ve experienced yet has been better than the feeling of almost. If the real thing ever lived up to the make believe in your head you’d snatch it up in a heartbeat. The trouble is that it feels rare, only meant for a few and not the many.

“Crushes are easier to come by,” you say. “It isn’t like that for you?”

Jun shakes his head. “I hardly ever like anyone. No projections when I do, though.”

You gawk at him. “Wah, what a life. What’s that like?”

“Pretty good,” Jun says, smile spreading crooked across his lovely face. His hand isn’t draped across your ankle anymore, it rests by his side on the tile floor, and you miss the weight of it. “Easier than whatever the fuck you’re doing. Your way would give me anxiety.”

You nudge him in the side. “Oh, is your way going well for you, then?”

Jun stretches his arms out, pushes himself up to sit, and says, “I’m still single; so not that well, no.”

Your alarm goes off, and when you say you’ve got to get going, he almost looks a little disappointed. You push yourself off the ground and turn.

“Are my shorts covered in dirt?”

Jun eyes you with suspicion. “Are you trying to get me to look at your ass?”

“Obviously.” You peek at him over your shoulder. “Is it working?”

“You’re not slick,” Jun scoffs lightly, and tips his head back against the cupboard, exposing the long line of his neck. It’d be nice to kiss him there. You pout at him, make moments like these light so you can play pretend in this crush a little longer. He laughs, and his eyes flicker down. “Dust yourself off a little– there, now you’re good.”

“Thanks, pal.”

“You’re welcome, amigo.”

“See you later, alligator.”

“In a while, crocodile.”

“Wait–” Jun grabs your wrist on your way out. The tips of his ears are tinged red. “Gimme your number. In case– y’know, in case you can’t find any good shit again.”

God, he’s cute.

Later, when you get home and find yourself raiding all the snacks in the cupboard, Mingyu catches you in the act, immediately clocks your bloodshot eyes and the stench of weed, and chews you out on the spot for 1) getting stoned in the workplace, and 2) not sharing the good stuff with him.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

“I met Weird Al Yankovic once,” Jun says, when you ask if he’s ever met any celebrities. “We made eye contact through the hatch and told me to be careful not to chop a finger off. That’s probably when my fear of knives kicked in.”

“Dude, I mean this in the nicest possible way, but you’re like the strangest person I’ve ever known.”

Jun plucks the joint from your lips and puts it to his own. You like when he does that. When the smallest brush of skin can be felt all over.

“Yeah, I get that a lot.”

Getting stoned with Jun after work is fast becoming a semi-regular thing. Never anywhere but his kitchen, never organised but it becomes expected. At lunch, if he’s planning on staying late, he’ll ask if you’re riding with Mingyu or getting the bus, and that’s the decider. Sometimes Vernon is there, sometimes Seungcheol.

After the third session you start offering to buy, because you’re smoking all his shit and it seems unfair that you’re probably putting his kitchen at a deficit too. Jun waves you off. He likes to do things for people, apparently. After the sixth, you start asking who his dealer is (mostly on account of Mingyu, who is vehemently against getting dummy high at work, but is just as bitter he’s been left with Mark With The Bad Stash as a supplier.) but Jun won’t say. No amount of flirting will make him fold.

Trading ridiculous questions on the floor of Sharkbait’s kitchen is becoming a semi-regular thing too. The questions are silly, always surface level, could be one of those scripted five minute mock-interviews you see online sometimes, and you know it’s because you hardly know each other to ask the real stuff yet, but you like it. It’s easy. It’s simple.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Mingyu is positively grey when you get home from visiting your parents on Thursday evening.

“Do not tell me you went to fuckass Mark again?”

“I went to fuckass Mark,” he wails.

“Whyyyyyyy, Mingyu? Why fuckass Mark?” You start to shake his shoulders but stop short when it looks like he’s about to empty his stomach over your shoes. “Get yourself to bed.”

“Can’t,” he says, ashen face knotted up into a frown. “You’re gonna have to take me.”

“You’re the size of an ostrich, Mingyu, be serious.”

“I’m not an ostrich,” he cries. “Please please please help me.”

Jesus Christ. “You’re a baby.”

He pouts. “A sick baby.”

“Soonyoung—” you yell down the hall. “Come help me drag the baby to bed!”

“Will you curse him this time?”

“Soonyoung? Did he melt a chopping board on the stove again?”

“No,” says Mingyu, screwing his eyes shut. “Mark.”

“Sure, why not.”

Finding the right kind of Etsy witch proves difficult. It’s not the scams you care about as such, but more so one that isn’t too scary looking. You don’t actually want anything serious to happen to Mark, you’ll settle for something like a bad case of halitosis– but all of these Bad Luck spell reviews cite awful occurrences that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy, let alone some doofus who overcharged you for shitty weed.

You’re sitting on the floor of your apartment, freshly showered and drinking leftover wine, while Soonyoung lays across the sofa and peers at your laptop screen over your shoulder. You’re waiting on your food to arrive before starting your show, and figured you’d better find a witch sooner rather than later.

“What about this one?” says Soonyoung, pointing at a listing.

“You want me to buy a curse from someone called LadyEviliansCoven?” you say, incredulous. “The one who literally has Evil Ian in her name?”

Your phone goes off.

Jun: Will you be my guinea pig tomorrow?

Me: depends. what’ve you got in mind for me ;)

Jun: Lol. It’s a surprise.

Me: okaaaaaaay fine

Me: just so long as it’s not cheese again, i fear i’m going to turn into a block of cheddar

Soonyoung reads over your shoulder. “You’re talking to Jun?”

“Yeah, we swapped numbers last week.”

Jun: I like cheddar :)

Me: omg you’re so smooth :)

Soonyoung tuts.

“What’s with you lately,” you ask. “Why are you being so weird?”

He sighs heavy. “Look, don’t take this the wrong way–” and it immediately gets your back up because he’s about to say something offensive and– “but could you not be a– um– a flirt at work?”

You spin around to pull a face at him. “I thought you were going to call me a whore for a second.”

Soonyoung smirks. “I considered it.”

“I’m not flirting with everyone.” Not seriously, anyway. Soonyoung levels you with a look. “I’m not.”

Jun: Wanna come get high with me? I have better shit than your weed guy.

“All I’m saying is don’t toy with Jun for the bit. He’s too soft-hearted.” It’s so rare that Soonyoung goes serious that it’s hard to counter it. He’s right. You have a tendency to take a joke too far, to flirt your way into and out of too many crushes. People get attached quicker than you do and it’s easy to forget when you move like the wind. Maybe it’s the other way around? Move like the wind so it’s easier to forget.

Me: can’t, sorry. it’s gilmore girls night. raincheck?

Jun: I’ll hold you to it :)

“She’s so fucking hot,” drools Soonyoung, reaching across your shoulder to jab at your screen. “Pick her.”

You scoff. “Who chooses an Etsy witch based on her level of hotness–” You stop short as you peer closer to inspect the sellers’ profile picture. “Soonyoung, that’s an AI photo, you fucking imbecile.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Sharkbait has been off limits for the last three days for recording. Mingyu said on no account can Jun or anyone else (i.e. you) get high in there until filming has wrapped, and you’re quietly convinced it’s because he wants to be invited to your smoke sessions. You don’t blame him.

This is how you end up sitting on the living room floor with everything feeling pink and golden, and off balance in that really cool, roller coaster moving in slow motion type of way. Mingyu is laying face down on the sofa, fast asleep and drooling. The bowl lays as spent as him on the table, embers fading out. Vernon and Soonyoung are chatting away and you can hardly focus on the words. Jun catches your eye, and he makes this funny expression like he’s making fun of you, and though you’re not quite following it makes you laugh anyway.

You’ve become hyper-aware of his body next to you. The long line of his legs, how he stretches out like a cat, and how you could fit your finger between the part in his lips. Soonyoung is saying something about how hungry he is, and you are too but you can’t get up from the floor as fast as Jun.

“Come help me,” Jun says. “Show me around your kitchen.”

“Ughhhhh,” you groan. But he’s pulling you up by the wrist and you’re thinking how unfair it is that someone so wiry is as strong as he is. Not just unfair but hot. Crushes are evil, you think. He’s tugging you into the kitchen by the hand, and it’s all clammy and warm but not so bad you want to let go.

You’re too high to be of much help, but you direct Jun to where you keep whatever he asks for, hold the ingredients he pulls from the fridge, chop whatever he tells you to chop, and stir whatever he tells you to stir.

“That’s a lot of garlic,” you muse.

“Yeah,” says Jun. “I know how to party.”

You’re not much of a cook, but Jun is, and he’s here with his soft voice and his soft heart, and very occasional soft touches keeping you steady. He doesn’t look at you often, but when he does his smile near breaks his face. God, it’s so nice.

Time moves strange and fluid, and the laughter from your friends filters faintly down the hallway. They sound so much further away. And then Jun is in front of you, holding a spoon up to your lips and telling you to open wide. Hard not to hear the implication behind the words, hard not to look him in the eye as you open your mouth for him and take what he offers. You’re too high for this.

There are butterflies in your stomach, in your eyes, in your mouth. You let them fly.

You swallow, thick. Lick your upper lip, slow. Under his breath, Jun swears.

“This is so good, I’d let it get me pregnant.”

Jun startles. “Uh– I’m not ready to be a dad.”

“The food, Junhui.”

A long pause. Jun stares. “Right. Hahaha.”

Mingyu is in the doorway, white-knuckling the frame. “OhmyfuckingGod, guys,” he says. “I got this vision you were kissing. I think I’m telescopic.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Monday morning rolls around far too quickly and you’re wondering who decided an eight o’clock lecture would be appropriate for the start of the week. Professor Lee talks of how the progress of technology affects aesthetics in her usual soft way of speaking, and you make an attempt at concentrating enough to take notes while ignoring the incessant buzzing in your pocket. At the end of the session, Professor Lee calls your name as you’re packing up your bag. Your friends hang back, but knowing the line for coffee will be miles long if they don’t hustle you tell them not to wait and to grab you a coffee, and you make your way to the front.

Professor Lee greets you warmly. She’s felt sorry for you ever since Jiho left you in the lurch. When it all came to light she’d tried to get you to join another group, but your peers were so far into their projects you’d only disrupt their rhythm if they had to find something for you to do, and your contribution would be next to nothing. You’ve never liked being a burden, but with the deadline edging closer you’re starting to regret not taking Professor Lee’s advice.

“I wanted to check in with you,” she says gently. Bless her. “How’s your assignment coming along?”

One month, two weeks, and five days left. You still have nothing, nada, zilch. Unfortunately, your first instinct is to lie out of your arsehole.

“Good, thank you!” you say brightly.

“I didn’t see your name on the equipment rentals list?”

Fuck. Fucking shitballs.

“Oh, that’s because I’m filming on my dad’s Super 8.” Shit shit shit shit. He does have a Super 8 but there’s not a chance in hell he’ll let you use enough film to make up twenty minutes worth of footage. “Thought it’d give it that authentic nostalgic feel.”

Professor Lee’s eyebrows fly up in surprise. “Super 8? Audio film is hard to get hold of these days. What are you doing for sound?”

“Tascam. I’ll edit it together in post.”

“Are you having someone slate for you? It’s tricky to sync if you don’t.”

“Yeah, one of my friends.”

This lie is already getting too big. You have no time– since for all the days you’re not in lectures, you’re at work, and it’s not like there’s anything to film there. People on animal floaties bobbing down the lazy river? Bored lifeguards messing around by the wave pool? Jun, high as fuck, making you sandwiches and pretending not to have a big fat crush on you and pointedly ignoring how you flirt with him?

Wait.

Wait.

It’s a moment not unlike all those old cartoons, in which the light bulb flashes above the characters head.

“I’ve got to say– I’m really concerned you’ve bitten off more than you can chew,” Professor Lee says, her voice low and serious. But you’re not paying it mind, because now– now you finally have an idea. And the guys will help, they’re all born entertainers. The trouble will be convincing your dad. The trouble will also be not telling Mingyu and convincing Soonyoung to not give the game away.

“I’m okay, really.”

Professor Lee is unconvinced, but you’re resolute now. You can turn this around.

Out in the hallway, you pull out your phone to see a slew of messages.

Gyu: I need your help

Gyu: I’m FUCKED

Gyu: I also need to get catastrophically drunk and/or stoned tonight, please beg Jun to give up his dealer because I sure as shit am not going back to motherfucking Mark

Jun: guinea pig duties tomorrow? new pancake recipe

Gyu: I’m so fucked CALL ME

Soonsoon: u will never guess what’s happened

Gyu: Never forgetting that you abandoned me in my time of need

Gyu: If I pay you a lot of money will you call me????

Soonsoon: btw mingyu’s about to have a heart attack please call him so he stops crying

Gyu: I think I’m dying, please make sure my family know it was your fault

You call Mingyu back. It’s hard to hear through all the tears and the wailing but eventually Soonyoung snatches the phone from his hand and walks you through the drama of the day. The long and short of it is Mingyu has been scammed out of fifty percent of the filming allowance, a whole thirty-thousand dollars and the biggest budget he’s been tasked with managing so far. The film crew has disappeared into thin air. The deadline for rolling out the summer ad is looming over his head, and now he’s begging you to help him fix it before he loses face, and/or his job.

Well.

Shit.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Okay. The plan is you’ve got the green light for a mockumentary, of sorts– in exchange for a thirty-second ad for television. And you’re being paid. Not the same amount as the scammy crew, of course, but way more than you could’ve hoped for as a filmography student. Sure, you’re good, but this is unheard of. Unbelievable. You’re taking it as a compliment, even though Mingyu was unnecessarily clear about only asking you because it’s too late in the game to ask anyone else.

Truth be told, you had no idea Mingyu had so much power. He’s talked your manager into giving you a half shift off ticket booth duty until filming is complete, and wrangled you an intern from the office to assist.

Seungkwan the intern is apparently grateful to be ‘let out of the dungeon’ and although he doesn’t have the first clue about what he’ll be doing for you, he’s a quick learner and very eager to avoid hot desking and spending his day fetching coffee. You’ve roped in a bunch of your coworkers to act as your characters. Some extreme version of themselves will do, you’d said, but some of them want to bring something new to the table. Seokmin in particular was rather excited.

You’ve settled on using Super 8 for both projects. You figure you could recycle some of the footage if necessary, and it saves switching between two different styles and sets of equipment. With the payment Mingyu has approved for you, you can afford to buy your own film instead of attempting to persuade your dad to use his, so for all intents and purposes– it’s all systems go.

Except it’s closing hours, and tomorrow will be your first half-day of filming, and you’re laying down in the log flume, not knowing where you’ll start. This is where Jun finds you, legs flopped over the edge of the plastic log, picking at your cuticles and fretting over the enormity of the work you have before you.

“Bad day?” he says. He’s wearing his visor backwards, hair falling in his soft eyes, looking like sugar and all things nice.

“Weird day.” You heave a sigh. “I think I’m not good enough for this.” Jun doesn’t reply, just waits for you to carry on. How could he know what you’re good for? “I think I peaked when I was fourteen, and now it’s all downhill.”

“Fourteen was a nightmare for me, who peaks at that age?” says an unconvinced Jun.

“I could do, like, fuckloads of backflips. Like ten.”

Jun’s eyes bug out. “In a row?”

“Yeah.”

“Woah,” says Jun, under his breath. “So does that make you up-down dizzy instead of circle dizzy?”

You furrow your brow. “I never really thought about it.”

“This isn’t helping?”

You purse your lips and shake your head. “Not at all.”

“Wanna come over and I’ll make you dinner?”

It takes all of 0.3 seconds to mull it over. “Yeah, okay,” you say, stretching out an arm for Jun to pull you up from the log. He wraps his long fingers around your wrist and tugs, setting you on your feet, and as you start to walk he slings his arm, familiar and friendly, to rest across your shoulders.

“Can we have literally anything that isn’t cheese based?”

Jun sucks air between his teeth. “Well– I had planned on lasagne.”

“Jun, please no,” you beg, clutching at his waist. “My heart is two grams of saturated fat away from sending in its resignation letter.”

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

His place is bigger than you expected. But whatever, his finances aren’t your business. Much bigger than you’d thought would be manageable for a guy on a cook’s salary. He gives you the tour. There’s three bedrooms. Two of which are devoid of any character, and his, which is full of it. Very him.

“Are your roommates at work?”

“I don’t have any,” he says. “Just me.”

Oh. His finances aren’t your business.

“I like your cat painting,” you say, pointing to the wiry black kitten sitting in a bodega fridge, hanging above his bedside table.

“Thanks,” he says.

He shows you out the bedroom and back downstairs, for quote unquote the rest– there’s more?

There is more. In the entryway is a door you’d assumed a cupboard, but no– it leads downstairs through to a fucking cinema room.

“Dude are you, like, rich?”

Jun laughs, rubs the back of his neck, goes a little red. Very cute.

“This place belonged to my uncle.”

“Woah,” you marvel. “All I ever inherited was the foot in mouth gene and my granddad’s Hi-Fi system.”

“What’s that?”

“Exactly.”

Much like at Sharkbait, you sit on the counter and yap while Jun cooks. He makes hot pot (thank god, because your body has been crying out for vegetables for too long) and keeps having you taste the stock, and when it’s finally done, he asks you to choose something to drink– “beer, wine, liquor, choose whatever,” he says. “It’s all there.”

You chew on the corner of your mouth as you stare at the selection. There’s too much of it and everything looks expensive. The wine bottles have real corks, for Christ’s sake. It’s starting to feel like you’ve been standing there too long, confirmed when Jun comes to stand beside you and asks if you like red. You do, so he picks up something with a worn label. Pomerol, or something. 1952.

“Do you collect this stuff?” you ask, as Jun pours two glasses, and slides one over to you.

Jun laughs for real this time.

“Nah, it was my uncle’s hobby,” he says. “Feels weird to get rid of it.”

“I’m so sorry,” you say softly, resting your hand on his arm.

Jun blinks at you, confused. You take a sip of wine. It tastes old.

“Were you close?”

“Oh– no, he’s not dead. He’s in prison for tax fraud.”

You nearly choke.

Jun slaps your back so hard you’re sure it’ll leave prints that’ll last long enough for Soonyoung to drag you for, and when you finally get your breath back you leap into scolding him.

“Why’d you make it sound like he died?”

Jun gapes. “Hey, you just assume! I didn’t make it sound like anything!”

“You should’ve led with the prison thing, fucknut! People get the wrong idea.”

Jun’s lips twitch. “You’re right, I should introduce myself like that,” he scoffs. “Hi, I’m Jun– by the way, my uncle is a felon and I live in his obnoxiously large house.”

You laugh. “Solid intro.”

“Uh-huh,” he says, rolling his eyes but he’s smiling. “Want me to top up your glass.”

“Fuck no, it tastes like shit.”

“Oh, thank God. I hate it too.”

“Have you got anything stronger?”

Jun grins like the devil.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Your head is throbbing. So sick to your stomach that you can’t stand the smell of the breakfast sandwich Jun had slipped into your bag this morning, before you’d run out the door to get to work early. But now Soonyoung is here being a bother– initially concerned but now delighted.

“Where’d you sleep last night?” he sing-songs.

“Fuck off.”

“Not Jun’s place, surely?” He’s putting on his gross cutesy voice.

“Fuck off, Soonyoung.”

“Did you get dicked down?”

“Nothing happened.”

“Oooooh! You wanna tell me the dirty details so bad!”

“I wanna ram this fucking boom mic up your asshole,” you snap, waving it at him menacingly, and it’s enough to make Soonyoung to take a step back and cover his backside with his hands.

“I hate when you’re hungover,” he mutters. “You’re mean.”

“You and me both, sunshine,” you grumble. “But you’re annoying.”

“Yup,” he says. “Can I have your breakfast? I didn’t eat yet.”

“Go nuts.”

Soonyoung inhales your food, and it doesn’t do much to settle your stomach. Seungkwan, Seokmin, Mingyu, Joshua, and Chan show up– and you try very hard to concentrate on explaining the shots you want for the advert. A walk-through of the entrance, Joshua handing over their tickets, and following them walking into the park. And later, when it’s busier with actual customers, focusing on them on the rides, eating lunch, hanging out on the lazy river. Splashes of water from the slides, etcetera etcetera. Some of this might do for an intro to your mockumentary, too.

You ready the camera, Seungkwan stands there waiting with the slate, Soonyoung is on mic duty, the others are in their positions.

And you try to focus, you really do, but your mind just keeps slipping back to last night– going over the conversations you had on the floor of Jun’s living room, after a bottle of something you can’t begin to pronounce and the shittiest rolled joint you’ve had since you were a teenager. You’d played twenty questions, Jun hesitated, and like an idiot you pushed.

“I really wanted to ask if you flirt with me ‘cause you like me or if it’s the same for everyone.” He sucked in a breath. “But I chickened out. Don’t wanna have my dreams crushed yet.”

“Uh-huh,” you’d said, as you passed the joint back to him. His fingers brushed yours. “Ask me again when you wanna know.”

You’re chicken too.

“Sound?”

Soonyoung nods.

“Camera rolling.”

Seungkwan claps the slate.

“Action.”

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Epic Buddie Fic Rec | March 31st-May 15th 2025 (PART ONE)

Hey guys.... long time no see ... 🙈

I've been really busy both at work and in my personal life, and I couldn't find the time to sit down and make the weekly recaps. (Part of that was planning a trip I am CURRENTLY on, making the most of this train ride to try and finish this goddamn post I started a week ago). As a result I have a month month and a half worth of fics to catch up on! Because of that, I'm gonna try and make the summaries shorter and the formatting easier because I have a lot of fics to go through! Also, I'm going to make one taglist for all the authors recced instead of tagging one by one for each fic!

Also, I am sorry to all the writers writing canon fics after 8x16, I just really haven't been in the mood to read about MCD. :/ Edit: godfuckingdamnit tumblr can't handle that many links but that just means I can yeet at least part of this rec into the void for now!!!!

@buckleyflower @exhuastedpigeon @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels @shitouttabuck @useramor @evcndiaz @gigi-gigi @inell @cal-daisies-and-briars @songbvrd @challaudaku @pairofraggedclaws @tizniz @devirnis @facewithoutheart @greenbergsays @facewithoutheart @xylodemon @oh-stars @markofalover @spaceprincessem @coldbam @fruitsdontknow @chronicowboy

Complete

Boyfriend on standby by buckleydefender (Post-S8E7: Hotshots, Getting Together | 7K | G): Eddie realizes he’s gay, begs Buck to stop baking and gets a birthday cake and a boyfriend in one night

my place, my peace by buckleydefender (Eddie back from Texas, Getting Together | 8K | G): what happens when Buck becomes TikTok famous, people assume that Eddie is dead, then that they are married and eventually help them get together

🔥 maybe this time, I'll be yours, you'll be mine by Elgney (Canon Divergent, S2 | 22K | G): It's the 63rd Annual Los Angeles Fire Muster & Firefighter’s Family Day, and inter-station relations are about to get real friendly between stations 6 and 118.

can′t leave me alone by 42hrb (S8, Eddie back from Texas, PWP | 3K | E): “There wasn’t a line at the DMV, it was a miracle. I —” The words die on Eddie’s lips as he takes in the scene in front of him, his eyes go wide and his mouth drops open, a flush spreads over his cheeks. Buck must look a fucking sight and he knows it, his face hot with a mix of shame and arousal. He can’t look at Eddie, not when he’s still got a fucking dildo buried in his ass. Not when his cock is fucking leaking against his stomach. Not when looking at Eddie might be what sends him tipping over the edge, so Buck carefully looks at the wall behind him instead. “Y-you’re not supposed to be home yet."

ride it, my pony by weewooforever (Post-S8E6: Confessions, PWP | 4K | E): Eddie shifts again, lifting one leg over Buck’s lap so that he’s straddling him. And then Eddie starts to move and Buck’s brain completely short-circuits. Eddie’s hips roll forward deliberately, like he’s just letting himself follow the beat of the music. Then he rocks back again, and Buck feels the shift through every part of him. That’s when it finally hits him. This is happening. Eddie Diaz is giving him a lap dance.

to bake an orange creamsicle cake by agilerose (S8, Getting together | 3K | G): Buck and Eddie make a grocery store run to get ingredients for a cake, but instead of reading the grocery list, Eddie finds a note in Buck's phone all about him.

i looked at your face & i knew that i’d found it by fleetinghearts (Eddie back from Texas, Getting Together | 3K | G): or, it might be just slightly obvious that buck really, really likes to talk about eddie

🔥 if i have your heart forever by ipretendtobesane (Eddie back from Texas, Getting Together | 9K | M): The day Eddie returns to Los Angeles for good and the day he realizes he’s in love with Evan Buckley happen to be the same twenty-four hours, which makes sense, really, if you think about it. He was coming home. To Los Angeles, to the 118. To Buck.

Overflow Protocol by lethargicWaste (PWP | 10K | E): Or; Eddie finds out Buck has hyperspermia and is totally normal and sane about it.

in golden wednesdays (i see ocean blue eyes) by bibuckdiaz (Canon Divergent, Veterinarian Eddie | 12K | T): Veterinarian Eddie Diaz meets a man who turns his life upside down with his smile, his heart, and his adorable Golden Retriever puppy.

a fever you can't sweat out by evcndiaz (PWP | 5K | E): eddie chuckles at the sight of him, the sound of it so low and dark and cocky that buck swears to god he almost comes right then and there. “you’re a greedy little bitch, aren’t you?” buck moans.

SOS by paleredheadinascifi (Getting Together | 1K | T): Eddie: SOS Buck: ??? Eddie: How do you know if someone wants to kiss you Or, Eddie phones a friend. That friend just so happens to be the guy awkwardly avoiding eye contact with him on the couch.

no angels could beckon me back. by dylaesthetics (PWP, Nightclub | 3K | E): OR Buck wants to party with Eddie and ends up partying…Well, erm, hard.

Devour Me, My Love by giselleslash (Love Confessions | 3K | T): When Buck holds onto Eddie it quiets the noise and brings him back to himself. Eddie doesn’t want to need him, but he can’t stop. (basically Eddie being a freak about Buck. and then Buck being a freak right back.)

Thrill Me Like You Do by Inell (Getting Together | 2K | T): An unexpected kiss over breakfast dishes leads to Buck asking Eddie out for their first date.

Earth is a very small dot by paleredheadinascifi (Blind Date, Getting Together | 3K | T): Or, Buck goes on a blind date. Impossibly, so does Eddie.

🔥 your face has faded but lingers on by Daisies_and_Briars (Angel!Buck, Canon Divergent | 16K | M): After a minor injury, Eddie learns that for years Buck - who was lost in an accident years before - is his guardian angel. Now able to see and interact with Buck, the two develop an unusual and deep bond. One Eddie doesn't want to let go of.

Iridescence by songbvrd (Mermaid!Buck | 18K | E): When Buck's parents try to exchange him for Daniel's health, they're hit with unforeseen circumstances. 5 times Eddie tries to get Buck to open up and tell him the truth, and the one time Buck actually does.

five times buck and eddie talk about having kids (and one time they actually do it) by challaudaku (Established Buddie | 4K | T): It’s not the first time people assumed Christopher was Buck and Eddie’s son, and he is, really, but Buck’s still aware that he came into their lives, that he wasn’t always a part of it, however long ago that felt like. This isn’t going to be the last time someone assumes that, either, but every time sends a rush through Buck’s body, it makes him feel giddy. Having a kid. With Eddie.

made your mark on me by challaudaku (Post-Getting Together | 1K | T): “Was it too much?” he asks. “Too fast?” Eddie’s breaths are shaky and shallow, and then he gasps out, “Is that what it’s supposed to feel like?” - buck, and eddie, and deserving happiness

sweetness follows by pairofraggedclaws (Outsider POV, Getting Together | 4K | T): Buck and Eddie figure it out, through the eyes of Chimney, Hen, and Bobby.

gel jail by shortndiaz (S8, Getting Together | 2K |M): Buck hates Eddie’s hair gel. He sentences it to a life sentence in gel jail.

a spreading heat by Tizniz (Werewolf Eddie | 1K| M): But not today. Today, it’s like he’s unable to ignore the carnal want he has for Buck. And it’s a problem. OR: Eddie is starting his rut and has absolutely no idea.

morning, noon and nightfall by devirnis (New Years Eve, Proposal | <1K | G): It’s been a chaotic day, but the best kind of chaos. Many hands coming together to help decorate, prepare the food, set up games for the kids — as well as discreetly squirrelling away additional decorations and a themed cake that has nothing to do with New Year’s Eve. Buck loves it, loves hosting a big party for his family in their new house, but he also feels like he hasn’t had a chance to talk to his boyfriend all day. Fiancé in — he subtly checks his watch — less than an hour. Probably. Hopefully.

we are human after all by facewithoutheart (Eddie in Texas | 3K | T): With Eddie in El Paso and Buck resting from a minor injury, Buck buys one of those robot cameras for watching pets so he and Eddie can hang out all day.

stress relief by greenbergsays (Post-Shooting, PWP | 5K | E): Set in the aftermath of the sniper shooting. Eddie is feeling frustrated and Buck offers a helping hand. (With added feelings!)

tell me what you need by weewooforever (PWP | 6K | E): It was supposed to be a one-time thing. He’d asked Buck for sex that day because he was desperate and looking for something to relax him. He thought it would burn off the need, get it out of his system. But it hasn’t. Not even fucking close. (Part 2 of wants and needs)

I told my friends you were the one by Elgney (Chris POV, Reddit | 2K | G): r/relationships ConfusedKid • 1 yr. ago : Hi. I’ve never posted here before but my friends can’t help me so maybe you guys can. I (12M) have kind of been going crazy trying to figure out what is going on with my dad (31M) and his best friend, B (31M). (Part 2 of make way for Buckling)

Water Lovers by xylodemon (S8, Getting Together | 10K | E): (Or: Five Times They Shared a Shower at the Station and One Time They Shared One at Home)

🔥 playing favorites by 42hrb (Pepa POV, Canon | 10K | T): Vignettes of Pepa and her favorite nephew throughout the years.

Pauses, then says, "You're my best friend." by this_is_moony_lovegood (Eddie Back from Texas, Getting Together | 7K | T): When Buck walks in on Chris kissing his best friend, Aiden, Buck and Chris settle in for an overdue conversation about love, family, and being brave.

shoulda been me by Tizniz (S8, Eddie Coming Out, Getting Together | 7K | G): Eddie goes on a date, realizes some things, and Buck handles it in a perfectly normal and rational way.

If you Give a Buck a Baby by scarmaddiewrites (Canon, Multiple POV | 7K | T): If Evan Buckley came with an instruction manual, the number one rule printed in bold, underlined, and possibly laminated, would be: If Evan is sad, give him a child.

vuelve a mi by markofalover (S8E17: Don't Drink The Water, Pepa&Eddie, Getting Together | 2K | T): “All these years, I tried to,” she says, pausing to inhale. “Set you up, and I didn’t know. That your heart already belonged to someone.”

sick of the chase but hungry for blood by spaceprincessem (S8E17: Don't Drink The Water | 1K | M): or buck and eddie kiss during the kitchen scene

easy by coldbam (S8E17 Coda, Getting Together | 1,7K | M): "Buck, are you single?" Eddie snorts, leaning back in his chair. "Pepa, don't start." She swats him lightly on the shoulder. "Oh, Eddie, hush. I'm just curious," she says, a picture of innocence before she turns back to Buck with a raised eyebrow. "Well?"

featherlight by coldbam (Canon Divergent, Eddie in Texas | 7K | G): Eddie snaps the picture, and sends it to Buck without thought. New neighbour stopped by to welcome me Eddie had been drinking his coffee, sitting outside on his back porch, trying not to get overwhelmed at all the shit he still had to do at his new place. The bird, a sweet little thing with a yellow face, was a nice distraction, flitting around, probably looking for food through the overgrown garden. It doesn’t take more than three minutes before his phone buzzes with Buck’s response. think thats a verdin!!! so cool!!

I Don’t See Your Mistakes by fruitsdoesnotknow (Eddie Back From Texas, Roommates, Getting Together | 7K | T): They're asked a simple question. "When did you fall in love with your partner?" This is how they respond.

seeing him in a new light by Tizniz (Eddie Back from Texas, Getting Together | 1K | G): The big question Eddie has is: has Buck always been this big?

bet the house (watch it fall) by withmeornotatall (S8E17 Spec | 1K | G): (OR: eddie goes back to confession)

Earth is a very small dot by paleredheadinascifi (First Date | 3K | T): Or, Buck goes on a blind date. Impossibly, so does Eddie.

WIP

Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Demon Buck, Canon Divergent | 11/? | 21K | Teen): Buck is a demon with the power to help with pregnancy, childbirth, and infant health. When the Buckleys make a deal asking for someone to help 'save their baby', Buck leaps at the chance as it will give him what he's always wanted: a life on earth. But demon deals are tricky and neither of them gets quite what they're after. This is Buck's journey as he navigates growing up on earth and remembering how to help those in need.

🔥 Gentle On My Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Shannon Lives, Buck/Eddie/Shannon | 26/28 | 139K | Explicit): In which Shannon lives, tells a lie, and sends hers, Eddie's, and Buck's lives down a very different path

🔥 for all the haunts and homes of men by euadnes/ @kananjarus (Canon Divergent, Post-Apocalyptic, Station Eleven Crossover | WIP | 18/19 | 189K | Mature | Warning: Violence): The year by the old calendar is 2025. Home is gone. Home is a failed rescue mission and an echo of a memory. Home is a lost boy living in a wooden house by the sea. But first, there was a promise. Christopher, when it's safe, I'll take you back to your father. Buck had all but given up on keeping it after the world had died and everyone in it. But just as some oaths refuse to be forgotten, so the same can be said about the endurance of love.

Shake the Disease by Daisies_and_Briars (Post-S8E15 Sick Day, Canon Divergent | 2/9 | 10K | M): Six months after a lab explosion which left Buck the only surviving active member of the 118, Buck begins to experience strange symptoms that lead him and Athena, both trapped in their grief, into the depths of a conspiracy that might be more fact than fiction.

🔥 Doe & a Drop of Golden Sun by ohstars (Canon Divergent, Dad Buck | 17/? | 72K | Teen): Buck doesn't mean to keep secrets from everyone, but he also can't talk about the pain he experiences on a day to day basis. With his nine-year-old living across the country and his custody limited to one monthly visit, Buck doesn't know how to share this part of himself. How does he tell his team of six years that he's had a kid this whole time?

Podfic

[Podfic] I'll Eat You Instead of Chocolate (You're Sweeter Anyhow) by Favourite_alias for letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Werewolf Buck, BDSM | 2.5-3h | E): When the 118 is called to deal with a "dog" that ended up in someone's house, Buck sustains a bite. It's fine, in fact it healed really quickly, and he doesn't see a need to make any fuss. The fact that he's craving raw meat, wants to be taken on a walk, and has a crazy strong sense of smell now are completely unrelated. Definitely. For sure.

[lueurjun]

poison candy challenge. b.chan.

est. relationship. reader x bang chan. in which chan indulges in a tiktok trend with you.

don’t ask where this idea came from, this trend has been all over my fyp and i just feel like chan would be so fun. this is also an in the spur of a moment post so… probably not the best lmao. everytime i do one of these i realize how chronically online i am- probably need to work on that 😬

bang certified simp chan.

the husband of all husbands.

the definition of i would quite literally walk on water if it meant getting to you faster.

he’s not the most tiktok savvy guy

so he’s not particularly up to date on the trends

he gives insta reels sending you a trend three years after it’s passed type of vibes.

which means it’s not a surprise that he has no idea what trend you’re talking about

“you wanna poison me?” followed by that endearing nervous laugh he does.

“no sit down ill explain in a second.”

you press down on his shoulder, guiding him to a seat and he’s more than willing to oblige.

this man would sit in fire if you asked him to.

so would i but you picked him 🙄 not salty. i get it 😒

he watches you wearily as you pour the skittles across the table, dotting the oak with colour.

“is that sanitary?”

you smile to yourself, offering no explanation as you prop up your phone, framing the two of you in its view.

you plop down beside him, barely settled before his arm slips around your waist, one hand finding its home on your thigh.

so happy for you! … ʜᴏᴇ

ignoring the tingling in your nerves that sparks whenever your boyfriend is within reach, you turn to face him.

“we each choose a sweet to be the ‘poison,’ then take turns eating the rest. whoever eats the poisoned one…dies.”

“okay… that sounds morbid hahaha. should i be monitoring what you’re watching?”

with a light tap to his chest, you turn away to start filming.

“i’ll pick first.”

you reach for a sweet, only to pause upon realizing he’s still watching.

“turn around, you cheater!”

you reach over, gently nudging his face to the side, laughing as he lets out an exaggerated sigh and turns away. still, with his back to the table, you cover his eyes as an extra precaution.

with your free hand, you lean toward the table, eyes scanning the scattered sweets before settling on a green one right in the centre. you point to it, making a mental note to circle it in editing.

“done!”

it’s Chan’s turn to pick, and your turn to face away. as you did, chan leans a hand back to cover your eyes, only he decides to be playful and clumsily rubs his palm all over your face.

“Chan!”

laughing, he brushes the hair out of your face, then delicately places a palm over your eyes, kissing your cheek as an apology.

con😭gratulat😭ions

chan picks a red one on the far left side of the scatter, giggling quietly to himself as if this is the most exciting game he has ever played.

you turn back around, his hand falling to your waist again and giving a light squeeze.

leaning down to the edge of the table, you narrow your eyes, scrutinising the spread before you.

a crease forms in chan’s forehead as he frowns, gaze bouncing between you, the sweets and the camera.

“what are you doing?”

the way i read that in his voice-

“trying to see if i can see any handprint residue on the skittles.”

chan’s mouth forms an ‘o’ shape before he bursts into loud laughter, curling into himself.

“are you a forensic? just pick one,”

“i don’t want to die, christopher.”

god forbid someone is thorough 🙄

abruptly sitting up straight, you pluck a yellow one from the right hand side and confidently pop it into your mouth.

chan watches you with a smile, his eyes dilated into the shapes of hearts.

when you turn to him, eyes big in expectation, his heart crumbles to dust and he can’t stop himself from grabbing your cheeks, plastering the biggest kiss to your nose

“you’re safe, my lovely forensic.”

throwing your hands up in victory, you cheer loudly.

chan is less thorough than you, deciding to just grab one and hope for the best.

he picks an orange one, the closest to you on the table and pops it into his mouth

you gasp, making him pause mid chew with wide eyes looking as if he’d just been caught red handed doing something he shouldn’t.

“am i dead?”

you relax with a grin. “no you’re safe.”

chan nudges you playfully. “why would you do that? i thought i was going to die.”

you remedy his hurt feelings with a sweet massage to his earlobe before leaning toward the table, steepling your fingers

the purple one draws your gaze, but you’re unsure so you glance back to try and gauge his reaction as you hand shifts over in that direction

realizing what you’re trying to do, chan cringes causing your hand to hover in mid air

“am i going to die?”

he quirks a brow. “i can’t tell you that’s cheating.”

“okay? don’t you love me enough to stop me from making a life threatening mistake?”

i do. 🙋‍♀️ I DO! take me instead.

“they’re skittles!”

frowning, you turn away from him with a humph causing a grin to spread across his face.

you decide to bite the bullet, fingers plucking the purple one and shoving it into your mouth.

chan stretches out the silence, prolonging the moment as you swallow the skittle.

now you might be dramatic but you swear it tastes bitter as the flavour coats your tongue.

“i’m going to die arent i?”

“no, you’re safe.”

you almost knock the chair over as you bounce in excitement, genuinely surprised.

“i am? i’m safe? really? i really thought that one was poison.”

chan laughs at your enthusiasm, suddenly overcome with cuteness aggression because there’s only you who could get this into a game revolving imaginary poison.

needing a release, chan squeezes your cheeks for a second before peppering several kisses to your chin before finally your lips.

“your turn!”

your cheeks are flushed, eyeing the camera sheepishly while Chan searches for a safe sweet, completely unfazed.

you’re not sure whether he’s forgotten about the camera or whether he just doesn’t care, either way, you’re very much aware of it and can’t help but pat your burning cheeks.

chan’s hand grazes the green one you chose, and your heart lurches

but it comes to a sudden stop, filling you with disappointment as he picks the yellow one next to it

you really thought you had that win the bag.

“safe.”

“try not to sound too thrilled about me living.”

his sarcasm earns him a tug of the ear, making him yelp.

confident that you will win the next round, you don’t really think too much into the one you choose, grabbing the red one on the far left side.

popping it into your mouth, you hum at the flavour failing to notice that chan has frozen beside you

“your go!”

when he doesn’t move to pick one, you turn to face him and see that he’s watching you with his mouth slightly hanging open

you know when bentley rubbed his eyes after touching onion and chan was just 😧 yeah that’s what he looks like.

“why are you looking at me like that?”

chan rolls his lips together, ridding himself of the victorious smile.

“you just died,” he whispered.

your jaw drops. “I JUST WHAT?”

“you ate the poison one…”

the two of you just stare at each other, though with vastly different expressions.

chan looks triumphant.

and you…

you look like someone just stole your first born.

“you almost ate the poison one! why didn’t you grab the green! your hand GRAZED it!”

chan looks toward the camera.

“it’s like they’re still here. i can still hear them talking.”

glaring, you lean back into the chair with your arms folded over your chest.

chan finds himself — and your reaction — utterly hilarious as he scoops up a handful of the skittles and pops them all into his mouth at once.

mouth full, he throws his hands up and cheers in victory at his win.

“glad to see you’re celebrating the death of your beloved.”

chan’s grin never falters as he scoops you up into his arms, peppering your face and neck in kisses.

“my favourite little sore loser.”

“i almost won! you literally touched the green one!”

[room-surprise]

How Old Is Thistle?

(EDIT: I've made a follow-up post to this one that goes deeper into the math and additional evidence that the 5:1 ratio is correct. You can read it here!)

I've seen people debating this and a lot of folks insisting that Thistle is a child, and since Thistle just debuted in the anime, I wanted to do a full write-up to help myself and others figure this out.

We don't know how old any of the Merini family members are exactly, so the best we can do is guess based on the information we have, but after carefully studying the manga, I think Thistle is at least a teenager, but much more likely a young adult, and definitely not a prepubescent child.

Here's what we know:

EDIT: Depending on what translation you read of some of the extra materials, Freinag implies that Thistle is the same age as some of his advisors.

Here's a detailed translation of this panel from my friend Fumi:

Elves age 5 times slower than tall-men.

16 year old tall-men in Dungeon Meshi's medieval time period are adults, they commonly join the military, get married, have children, etc.

An 80 year old elf is an adult. Pattadol is 82 and she's a lieutenant in a military unit. It's her first job and she's obviously a rookie, but Captain Flamela tells Pattadol to accomplish her mission or die trying.

Many fully adult elves look like what we might consider children or young teens, because they're short, petite, and have androgynous features.

An average elven adult is around 150-155cm tall (5 ft), meaning some are shorter than that, and some are taller. Thistle is 130 cm, which is short, but not unheard of.

Fleki is 130 (26) years old and she's 140 cm tall (4'7")

Otta is 137 (27) years old and she's 130 cm (4'5") tall, the same height as Thistle!

They are both women, but there's probably plenty of elven men in their height range.

Just so we can compare Thistle to some adult elven men, Mithrun and his brother are probably adults (or close to it) in the panel on the left.

Mithrun (in this image) is somewhere between 75 and 144 (probably in his 80's), and his brother is older than him (so he could be in his late 80s or 90s). As you can see, they don't look that different from Thistle, Otta or Fleki.

So, how old is Thistle?

(Spoilers below the cut)

Thistle was brought to the royal court as a child (found on the street, stolen or purchased, we don't know how they got him). At the absolute youngest I'd guess Thistle is 25 years old here (so about 5 years old for a tall-man.) He can already play the flute, and possibly the lute, and most children that aren't prodigies can't handle playing an instrument (physically or mentally) until they're around 5.

EDIT: We now know that Thistle is the same age as Freinag, the king that takes him in! So Thistle must be at least 25 years old in this comic, though realistically he could be anywhere from 25 to 40 based on how Kui drew Freinag.

He lived in the court for an unknown amount of time, Freinag hasn't changed much but Thistle appears to have aged a little, so let's say it's been 5 years and Thistle is 30 (6) when Delgal is born. More than 5 years could have passed, but I'm trying to keep the numbers low.

Delgal gets married and has a child. Delgal should be at least 15 at this point, but since he has a full mustache before his wedding, I think he's in his 20's, since teenagers tend to not be the best at growing robust facial hair.

(He has a full beard by the time Eodio's a young child.)

Thistle puts the kingdom inside the dungeon around this point, however, people are still aging: Delgal's grandson Yaad is born, and Eodio is clearly a young adult here, probably in his 20's. Therefore, there is NO REASON to assume Thistle stopped aging. "The dungeon lords don't age" is a common fan headcanon I've seen people spreading, but it has no clear canon basis.

Yaad ages until he looks about 13-15 years old, and at this point all of the people of the kingdom and Thistle appear to stop aging, and 1,000 years pass.

So, the youngest Thistle could possibly be, if he was 30 (6) when Delgal was born, if Delgal was 15 when he had Eodio, and Eodio was 15 when he had Yaad, and Yaad is 13 years old...

Is 73 years old, which would make Thistle about 14.6 years old by tall-man standards.

HOWEVER, I think it's VERY unlikely that all the characters are that young.

I think it's clear from Kui's drawings that Delgal and Eodio are not 15 years old when they become fathers, and that Freinag is at least 25 when he takes in Thistle.

If we assume Thistle was 30 when Delgal was born, and Delgal and Eodio were both at least 20 when they had children, even if Yaad is only 13 years old, that makes Thistle at least 83 years old (16.6), and makes him older than Pattadol, who is an adult at 82.

However, I think it's entirely possible that Thistle was anywhere from 40-50 when Delgal was born, and Delgal could have been anywhere from 20 to 30 when he had Eodio, and Eodio could have been anywhere from 20-25 when he had Yaad. If you use the maximum ages, and assume Yaad is 15, then Thistle could be as old as 120 (24).

I think a reasonable middle ground is assuming Thistle was 30 (6) when Delgal was born, Delgal had Eodio at 25, Eodio had Yaad at 20, and Yaad is 15... Which would make Thistle 90 (18) years old.

This of course says nothing about Thistle's emotional maturity or sanity, he's obviously stunted in some ways, but the point I want to make here is:

Thistle's age could be anywhere from 14.6 to 24 at the most extreme, but more realistically he's somewhere between 16.6 and 18.

And that's not even counting the thousand years that he's lived since then!

And that's all I've got to say about that 🙏🙏🙏🙏

(EDIT: Follow-up post with additional evidence here.) EDIT 2: I've seen a lot of people talking about the page Kui drew talking about elven earmuffs. It's considered just barely okay for Pattadol to wear them, but it's ok for Thistle to wear them... In which case I'd say Thistle could be any age younger than 83. That's handy as it knocks out some of the older ages!

So in that case Thistle's age is between 73 years old and 82, which makes him developmentally between 14.6 and 16.4!

[aloesarchives]

JJK Headcanon: Megumi cockblocks Toji/Megumi "Menace" Fushiguro/ Toji having beef with his 15 yr old son

Warning: Swearing, Female reader, Mentions of sexual activities but not explicit, ooc on Megumi’s part, Toji being Toji

Series: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Toji x Fem!Reader(romantic), Megumi x Mom!reader(parental/platonic)

Pronouns: She/Her(Reader is referred to as mom, mama, and mother by Toji and Megumi)

Word Count: 2.2K

(A/N: This is based on my one-shot I did and I wanted to expand on it because I just felt the need to. This headcanon went off the rails and is in different directions. Let me know if I missed any warnings!)

[Edited and Proofread! on 12/9/23 8:05pm. Forgive the strange format, Tumblr wouldn’t let me edit the post so I had to do it on the original doc and paste the edited version.]

Please enjoy!

So Megumi cock blocking Toji started out unintentionally and by accident. But as he got older, he did it more to annoy his dad and get on his nerves.

I will die on this hill but Megumi is a Mama's boy. Though it goes unsaid(by him at least), everyone knows it. Toji knows it, Gojo knows it, his classmates and friends know it, and everyone at Jujutsu High knows it. Hell, his own shadows know it.

Obviously you know it but you don’t want to embarrass your son. But it does fill you with love and contentment to know your son loves you dearly.

But that’s the problem, he LOVES you. Loves you more than Toji. Well, Megumi loves Toji as a dad and father. It’s just as he gets older, especially as a teenager, he often butts heads with Toji and gets fairly annoyed by his presence. All Toji has to do is breathe in Megumi’s direction and your son groans, rolls his eyes, and leaves.

When Megumi was younger, he was attached to you. You were always carrying him inside the house, when you were cooking, and even when folding the laundry. He didn’t like being far from you. All you had to do was be within 6 feet of your son or where he can see you and he will be fine.

So when Toji holds Megumi because you need to get or do something where you can’t bring your son, Megumi is all fussy and cranky. He doesn’t cry often but he is just all over Toji. Pulling at his hair, shirt, and cheek. Toji has been mostly successful with Megumi when putting him down for a nap, feeding or bathing him but sometimes it’s a struggle.

When you do it for Megumi, he is all cooperative and easy to handle. Toji clicks his tongue when he sees it happen and looks at Megumi as your son nuzzles into your shoulder. “I see how it is Megumi. All nice and easy for Mama but not for me.”

After successfully putting Megumi to bed, Toji gets frisky as wants some alone time with you. Since Megumi was born, your son has taken up most of your time. Leaving your poor husband with a lack of attention and affection. You want to make it up to him for lost time so you let him have his way with you.

However, just before Toji could go down on you and make you see stars, you hear Megumi’s crying. So out of instinct, you grab one of Toji’s shirts and make your way to comfort your son. Half the time, the mood gets instantly lost and Toji gets sexually frustrated. He was so close to boning you and your son just has to stop him from doing so. 

Toji gets blue balls so many times during Megumi’s youth, it’s a straight-up crime to him.

There are times when Toji doesn’t care if Megumi starts to cry in his bed. He read somewhere that babies just cry for no reason so at times let them cry it out. When he reads that, he’s not letting you out of his grasp when his son is crying in his crib. You feel the urge to comfort him but when Toji makes you wait a couple minutes and start to hear Megumi’s cries grow quieter, then they stop. That gives you two the green light to each other to yourselves.

75% Toji would have success with you but there was the other 25% he didn’t.

When Megumi was a toddler, he mostly would knock on your door in the dead of night either because he had a nightmare or wanted to sleep with you two. Luckily, this happens after your “nightly session” with Toji.

But Megumi would ask Toji to help him with stuff or pop up out of nowhere when wanted to have a piece of you. Toji hugging your front and cups your body while you cook? Megumi is by the kitchen table asking what are you making for dinner. Toji cages you against the wall as you put away the laundry? Megumi pops his head out of his room and asks Toji if he saw his dog plushie that was on his bed. 

But Megumi’s clinginess to you is genetic because Toji is the exact same to you. Way before Megumi was on the drawing board, Toji was either all over you or near you. No in between, it was one or the other.

You felt bad because it feels like your son and your husband are fighting for your attention. You know Megumi’s a child, who needs more guidance and help, but you know your husband has needs too. 

But as Megumi goes to school, it was easier for you two to have some alone time. Mostly easier for Toji to be inside of you.

But as Megumi gets the hang of summoning his shadows, it’s all over for Toji. This happens when he’s older as Megumi sometimes lets his dogs out and roam around the house. Like their user, the dogs and shadows love you too. One time, they saw Toji being too close to you and thought he was harassing you. So the dogs ran and pounced on Toji. One of them caught Toji’s wrists in their mouth and started pulling him away from you. Obviously, you called Megumi over to stop his dogs or to call them back. He does so but not without giving Toji a smirk, he definitely may or may not put his dogs up to it just to fuck around with his dad.

For the timely and observant boy he is, Megumi really is just popping in at the wrong times. He didn’t mean to do that to you, he’s well aware of how much you love Toji, both body and soul. He just doesn’t like how Toji isn’t quick and sleek with his intentions with you. Sure, it was Toji’s house and he can do whatever he wants in it. But Megumi also lives here too, so Toji should be more cautious and considerate of his son. Because everyone knows that they would rather bury themselves than see their parents try to give them another sibling.

Though Megumi now dorms at Jujutsu High because of missions, he does come home on weekends and breaks. But it varies from time to time, he would mostly tell you in advance when he would come home or visit. But he sometimes forgets and just drops by unannounced.  

Thus, that’s how scenarios like this occur. 

He will come home, sometimes knocking/ringing the doorbell but mostly lets himself in, then he walks inside, takes off his shoes, and goes to the living room. His heart slightly beats faster as he awaits the inevitable. It’s like a coin toss, 50/50 chance he’ll be safe or not. He relaxes when he doesn't stumble upon another eye bleaching but when he encounters the other 50%. He cringes inside so hard, he just blames Toji. Nah, he never blames you.

Yes, he’s well aware of men and women having… carnal desires… But you were never shameless about it in public or out in the open. He doesn’t know when it’s just Toji and you. But frankly, he DOES NOT WANT to know or find out. So he believes his father is just a dog in heat almost every time there is an OUNCE of spare time with you.

He either coughs, grunts or speaks to make his presence known. 99% of the time when this happens you are the one to push yourself away from Toji and try to make the situation less awkward for your son. It always ends up embarrassing you in the end.

Toji, in his head, lowkey wants to smack his son to another dimension. Way too salty in his mind.

‘Brat, let me have a moment with your mother, it’s not that hard.’ ‘IDGAF if you're my son, I’ll smack and give hands to my own son if you keep doing this.’

Like father like son, Megumi is doing the same thing in his head.

‘That’s a skill issue’ ‘This is an issue, not an iss-me’ ‘You fell off, what happened? Cause you’re too old?’ ‘Fucking cope, Old Man’.

Because of this, Toji literally has beef with his 15-year-old son. 

Should he be pressed about someone younger than him? No! Does he care? Also No. If this man can beef and fight Gojo Satoru and LIVE to see another day, he can have beef with anyone. 

Even if it’s his own son.

You should be a good parent and spouse and try to dissipate the fact your husband and son have an unspoken feud with each other. But you can’t help but watch everything unfold when they interact sometimes because it’s just funny and you get a kick out of it. 

Just to clarify, it’s never a shouting match or an actual argument. It’s more of petty insults, backhanded compliments, or brutal honesty minus the honesty. It’s like being a spectator at an event. You were watching for entertainment and you were getting your money’s worth. When you would come by Jujutsu High, you would talk about Megumi and Toji’s “interactions”. Saying something along the lines of “They don’t see eye to eye.”

One day, Toji and you decided to pay a visit to the campus because Principal Yagi needed to ask you about something in person. Since it was only you, Toji just wandered the halls and the school’s grounds, waiting for you to be done. As the odds were in his favor as he stumbled upon Megumi and his group doing some training. Toji just pops in and starts talking to Megumi. He acknowledged Yuuji and Nobara but he didn’t spare a glance at Gojo. In fact, he straight up looked at Gojo, gave a look of disgust, and continued talking to Megumi whilst ignoring him.

It didn’t take for some banter to rise between father and son, while no loud voices or malice was felt or seen. This was probably the few times Yuuji and Nobara had seen Megumi get heated, but this was the first time they saw Megumi beefing with his dad.

After a few minutes, Megumi summoned his shadows and Toji decided to change into his fighting stances. Yuuji thinks this is a bad idea but Gojo just smiles, saying that seeing them spar was a “learning experience”. Plus it would be good for Yuuji to watch Toji because Toji was a physical fighter considering his Heavenly Restriction. Though Yuuji has some curse energy, he must box it out with his opponents so he considered and the three watched the two fight it out. 

Megumi forgot his old man was an actual threat to the Jujutsu Society because Toji was straight up dodging Megumi’s shadows, their attacks, and even Megumi's own physical attacks. Though Toji wanted to have a little fun, he had to hold back so he wouldn't destroy/kill any of Megumi’s shadows. If he did, you would definitely find out and he would be a dead man for sure.

Anyway, it was so fast-paced that only Gojo was keeping up with the action. He was smiling but he had a shiver up his spine as he remembered that Megumi’s dad was the very reason for his enlightenment and Hollow Purple ability. It was obvious that Megumi wasn’t going to win but he wasn’t one to admit defeat. Then like a blur, Toji charged at Megumi from above and when he landed he created a decently large cater with Megumi at the center. Megumi’s shadows disappear since he is low on curse energy and is completely exhausted.

Both men were heaving and sweating like crazy. Yet out of nowhere, they suddenly hear your voice, LOUD and DESTRESS. You ran over to the two, eyes widening as the carter became bigger the closer you got. You see your son lying on the floor and help him up. You tried dusting off some of the dirt on him while looking concerned. You snapped your head towards Toji, whose smirk disappeared and then returned back again. You began to reprimand him for what he had done. Fighting his own son and damaging the training grounds, like wtf man.

You weren’t really raising your voice or yelling at him. But the firmness and seriousness in your tone about the small sparring session was enough to make someone straighten their posture and use very respective language towards you. There were moments where you tugged at Toji’s ear, pulled at his shirt so he was looking straight at you, or held his forearm tightly while you expressed your disappointment and concerns to him.

Ngl, Toji was a bit bricked up when you were all serious and angry at him. He didn’t mind sleeping on the couch if it meant he got to see this side of yours more often. 

Megumi reassures you that he is not physically hurt but his pride is wounded. You told him that if his dad pulled this again, to not engage with it and back off for his own safety. Megumi, because of his agitated mood, felt a bit offended that you didn’t believe your own son could hold his own. Let alone, go toe to toe with his own father.

“Mom, I don’t understand. Why don’t you trust me in fights even though I can handle myself.”

“Megumi, sweetheart, it’s not like that at all. I know you are a strong, smart, and capable person. You are my son, after all.”

“Then why don’t you want me to fight with dad?”

“Oh Megumi, honey. You have no idea the strength and capabilities of your father. You do realize, my dear, your dad was holding back a lot when he was sparring with you.”

Megumi looks shocked at his Pops, who winks at him, before turning his attention back to you.

“Wait, what? Just how strong is he, Mom?”

You didn’t give him a full answer.

All you said was, “Ask your teacher, Megumi.”

Megumi and his two classmates look at their teacher to see what you were talking about all the while Gojo was sweating bullets. That’s a story for another day, now you are dragging your husband home and telling your son to call you if anything changes.

So Toji and Megumi have eternal beef with each other. Though it’s more of annoyance and for shits and giggles really. Toji really does love his son and Megumi loves and respects his dad a lot.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading and hope you have an amazing day with your favorite drink!

[bluesylveon2]

LOVE (Ace Trappola x Yuu/Reader)

Summary: Four instances in Ace's life where he starts to view Yuu/Reader more than a friend

Note: Inspired by "L O V E" by Michael Buble, set in canon, mention of another magic school, the first years teasing Ace, and fluff. This all happened because I saw some aceyuu posts

Edit: made some minor edits!

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: fem Yuu/reader, not beta read, some cursing, cringey teenage boy stuff, and possible ooc characters

Masterlist: here

L is for the way you look at me

Chaos. 

All around Ace was chaos. 

Riddle's cackle resonated throughout the rose garden; other Heartslabyul members threw spells left and right, and blot was everywhere. Everyone's eyes were set on the Heartslabyul housewarden. However, Ace had something else in mind. 

"Look out!" Was all Yuu heard before a familiar figure tackled her to the ground. The stray spell that would have hit her landed on a rosebush instead. 

Ace protectively held Yuu as they tumbled in the dirt. The redhead pivoted his body so he protected Yuu from the ground. 

"Are you okay?" Ace frantically asked, letting his hands wander to search for any injuries. 

"I'm fine," Yuu coughed and got off of Ace. "You need to go and stop Riddle. I'll find Grim and-"

"Are you insane?!" Ace yelled. "I am not letting you fend for yourself, and Grim is still new to magic. I'm your best bet here."

"Ace…" Yuu said in a warning tone. She started to move but was stopped by someone grabbing her wrist. She yelped as Ace pulled her towards him and held her protectively. 

"We are getting out of this together, whether you like it or not. Stay behind me, and don't lose me," Ace said, looking into Yuu's eyes with determination. To this day, Ace still could not explain what happened to him. All he knew was that he wanted to protect Yuu. 

A few seconds of silence passed until Yuu let out a sigh. "Fine but don't let me die."

Ace grabbed Yuu's hand and squeezed it.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Yuu."

O is for the only one I see

The cafeteria was loud with chatter as the students discussed the female student representatives of an all-girls academy coming to visit NRC because of Crowley's way to "strengthen relations with other institutions." It was no secret that a school full of boys would not talk about it. Especially when the only female on campus was the local school therapist, lived in a worn down dorm, and had a cat monster. 

"Did anyone get a glimpse of the girls visiting today?" Epel asked as he cut his apple. It was lunchtime, and the first-year group ate at their unofficial but official table. 

"Yeah, Big Brother was so nervous during his part of the tour that I ended up leading it for him," Ortho sighed with a downward look on his face. 

"I'm surprised by how cordial Leona was with them," Jack admitted. "I understand Leona's kingdom respects ladies, but seeing him do a 180 is weird."

"Speaking of, has anyone seen Yuu? She needs to come down to eat," Ace took a bite out of his sandwich, his eyes scanning for the Prefect. 

"She's currently providing her portion of the tour since the Headmaster insisted Ramshackle goes after Diasomnia." Sebek's voice brought Ace back to the table. "Then she will eat there with the guests with food catered by the campus ghosts. At least that's what Waka-sama told me." 

"Good, at least the Headmaster did something right for once.” Jack nodded as he and Sebek shared an unspoken agreement. "She should save herself from these guys." His ears flickered from an unpleasant conversation he did not want to hear. 

"I'll say," Deuce joined in. "You should've seen some girls keep staring at Ace, asking him questions and stuff when I was right there!" He glared at Ace. "That was not cool, man."

"You're just jealous that you don't have the rizz to pull a girl."

"Why you!" Deuce grabbed Ace's collar. 

"Would you date one of them, though? If you got the chance?" Epel asked. Deuce froze and let go of Ace, eying him curiously. Silence filled the table, minus the background noise from the other students. 

"Me? I'm good with not dating anyone yet. 'Sides, I'm already busy looking after Yuu a lot." Ace laughed, but no one joined him. Instead, they looked at him with shock. "What? Was it something I said?"

"Well…" Epel said, his eyes flickering to anyone but Ace. "That's not what we expected."

Ace raised a brow. "What did you expect?"

The first years looked at each other, unsure how to respond, until Sebek slammed his fist against the table. "Human! You should put away this silly nonsense and eat! I cannot have a weak human beside me. It will embarrass Waka-sama!"

"Geez, I didn't even start it." Ace rolled his eyes and took another bite of his food. 

Those girls were not even his type anyway. Who needs them? He would rather spend time in Yuu's company as friends than have a repeat of his last relationship. 

At least, that's what Ace tried to tell himself. 

V is very, very extraordinary

"And so, the Ice Queen found love between her and her sister. Their sisterly love thawed the ice out of her kingdom, thus solving any crisis before it could become an eternal winter.” Professor Trein closed his textbook and eyed the class. “Does anyone have any questions?"

Ace held back a laugh as Yuu's hand went up in eagerness. Luckily for him, Deuce remained fast asleep during the lecture. 

"Yes, Yuu?"

"And what happened to the brave princess? Did she ever find her own happy ending?" 

"Yes, she did. Even though she did not have magic, the princess defeated her wicked fiance and then…" Ace ignored the rest of Professor Trein's ramblings and glanced over at Yuu, who was focused on writing a book full of notes. 

Despite being magicless and from another world, Yuu was interested in nonmagical courses such as History and Alchemy. In fact, she had a higher grade in those courses compared to ADeuce.

Ace watched as Yuu asked yet another question regarding the two sisters. An amused smile formed on his face. 

If Yuu had magic, she could be like the Ice Queen. Then again, she is more like the sister. Energetic, blunt, awkward, has a nice smile-

Wait. 

Ace shook his head and cringed. Since when did he care about her smile? What kind of guy thinks about those things? 

The bell rang as Ace battled his internal thoughts, unaware of Deuce waking up beside him. 

"Is it time to go already?" Deuce asked and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. 

Yuu walked up the steps to join the duo while holding Grim in her arms. 

"That lecture was so interesting! To think that love was the solution for a kingdom all along." Ace watched Yuu's eyes light up as she shared her thoughts about the lecture. The smile on her face reminded Ace of the sun. "Ace, what did you think about the lecture?"

"I think your smile is cringe," the redhead blurted out, causing Yuu to stop and Deuce and Grim to facepalm. 

Yuu stared at Ace in confusion. "Uhh, okay? Your smile is cringey, too, I guess?" The poor girl was lost. Since when did this become a topic?

Ace was beating himself up mentally while Yuu's attention turned to Grim, who was demanding for some tuna. 

"Way to go, dude," Deuce whispered, elbowing Ace's side. "Way to show how much rizz you got there."

"Shut up, Juice!"

E is even more than anyone that you adore

"Whoa, what happened to you?" Jack asked as Epel trudged to his seat and slammed his tray on the table. The Pomefiore boy let out a big yawn as he sat down. 

"I agree. Improper sleep will put you behind in training," Sebek said as he eyed Epel. 

Ace glanced from his messages with Yuu, who was fighting a cold back at her dorm, to the periwinkle-haired boy. "Yeah, the dudes are right. You look like shit."

"Shut yer trap you-" Epel froze and glanced over Ace's shoulder. Despite being on the other side of the cafeteria, Epel could feel chills from Vil's bombastic side-eye. "I mean. I was having trouble sleeping last night because of a certain someone." 

"Yeah, your stress levels are higher than normal. You can nap in my dorm during your break if you want." 

"Thank you, Ortho," Epel said and took a bite of his toast. 

"Who's this someone so I can teach them a lesson?" Deuce put a fist into his palm and had a murderous look in his eyes. 

"Just one of my roommates. He keeps going on and on about Yuu lately." 

Ace froze and suddenly choked on his breakfast. Luckily, Jack was there to slap his back. 

Yuu? Of all people? Sure, she is known for being around seven overblots and surviving, but her fame wasn't enough to keep someone awake. Let alone sing praises of like a lovesick prince. 

"Why is he talking about her?" Ace managed to spill out after he regained his composure. 

"He keeps praising Yuu for her kindness-" someone snorted at that, but Epel ignored it. "Looks, how perfect she is, and whatever nonsense he can go on about. He even started writing poems about her too! I swear if I hear this guy talk about how Yuu's eyes look like diamonds one more time. Aah'm 'unna put a sock in his-"

Again, Vil's glare carried despite being far from the first years. 

"I mean. Tell him to be quiet. Because that is what I can do." He said the last part through gritted teeth and glared at his housewarden. 

"What a simp," Ace commented, and everyone nodded in agreement. “I low-key feel bad for the guy. Yuu is not going to give him the time of day."

Deuce raised a brow. "And what do you mean by that?"

Ace held his hands up and shrugged. "I'm just saying. A guy who acts all princely and cute for Yuu? No. She deserves someone fun and imperfect like her. A person who she likes to be around. Someone who can help steer her away before she ends up somewhere dangerous."

"Oh really?" Sebek looked at Ace with interest. "And do you, perhaps, have someone in mind for the human?"

"Duh, dude. Me." Ace said confidently and smirked, giving himself a mental pat on the back. 

The other first years stared at him in silence. Then they all had the same shit-eating grin on their faces. Even Ortho had one despite having the lower half of his face covered.

Their looks made Ace realize what had come out of his mouth. 

Oh shit. 

The boy blushed bright red. 

"Wait! No! That is not what I meant to say! Forget all of that!" Ace exclaimed in poor defense. The other's faces remained unwavering.

Deuce had an infuriating smirk splayed on his lips. "Oh, we heard you loud and clear, right guys?" 

Jack joined in on the teasing. "Can't fool me. I heard it, too."

“You got it all wrong! I do not like Yuu like that!” Ace yelled but his red ears said otherwise.

Sebek crossed his arms and grinned, clearly enjoying the show. "Hmph, you humans should never doubt a fae's hearing. For I heard the human declare his worthiness to the Prefect." 

"Okay, now you are making things up!"  

Epel's face lit up in glee. "Well, then, that's great news! I can tell my roommate to pursue Yuu since Ace clearly does not see her that way. Sure, I am sacrificing my sleep for this, but at least Yuu will have a good guy."

"Are you saying I am not a good guy?!"

Ortho let out a sad exhale and slumped his shoulders. If Ortho could cry tears, he would've used them now. He laid a hand on Ace's shoulders in sympathy. "It's okay, Ace Trappola. I will try to convince Yuu to make you her Man of Honor."

"THAT'S IT!" Ace yelled, startling Ortho. The redhead was clearly fed up and red like Riddle’s hair from both embarrassment and anger. Ace stood up, grabbed his tray, and walked off in a random direction. 

"And where are you going?" Deuce yelled out. Ace flicked him off as he threw away his trash. 

"Anywhere away from you losers!" Ace started grumbling as he made his way out of the cafeteria to blow off some steam. 

The other first years watched silently and let Ace walk off. They did not want to anger him further, but they were also proud that Ace was somewhat honest about his feelings for Yuu. 

"Uh, isn't the Mirror Chamber that way?" Jack asked and pointed to the opposite direction from where Ace went.

Deuce smirked, his eyes following Ace's figure. "Looks like he is going to Ramshackle instead. Probably to check up on his future girlfriend." He turned to Ortho. "Did you get that all recorded?"

"Yes, I did!" Ortho grinned victoriously. "I also sent a copy to the Prefect and stored another copy in my database."

“Hmph, that will show him,” Sebek said with a proud look. 

Epel rubbed his hands together and looked at the other first years, who all had the same expression. "Perfect. I can't wait to see the look on Ace's face when he sees it."

Ace was in for a surprise when he made it to Ramshackle. He was also very embarrassed to see the recording come back at his wedding reception. 

A/N: idk if anyone could tell but I lowkey cringed at having ADeuce say "rizz" but they are teenage boys so they might as well 😂

Disclaimer: I do not own Twisted Wonderland and its characters. Those belong to Aniplex, Walt Disney Japan, and Yana Toboso.

©: This story belongs to bluesylveon2 2020-24. DO NOT modify, republish, or plagiarize my work.

[swizzlemynizzle]

Underneath the Noise

—————————————————————————

Masterlist

Chapter 6: Post-Party Panic

—————————————————————————

The morning sun slices through Y/N’s window like a passive-aggressive reminder of her life choices. Her head is surprisingly okay. Her feet, not so much. The muddy size elevens are still by the door—silent, damning—and her own shoes are God knows where. Possibly in the Thames. The memories of last night blurred at the edges, not quite comprehensable this early in the morning.

Her new flat is still half-unpacked. Boxes lean against the walls, a heap of wires sprawled across the floor like a tech-themed crime scene. But she’s buzzing. Giddy, even.

Her cold feet sting on the kitchen tile as she makes a coffee, an attempt to rejoin Earth after a wild night. As the bitter liquid coats her tongue, the memories feel a little clearer.

Last night keeps looping in her head like a glitchy highlight reel: tambourine guy, fountain dipping, George’s stupid smirk when she called him a hobbit by mistake. The way he’d looked at her—really looked at her—like he saw through the performance and wasn’t put off by what was underneath.

And yet, beneath the buzz, something sharp simmers in her stomach.

Chris’s video.

She’s not in control of how people will see her—how they’ll edit her, meme her, decide who she is based on five minutes of drunken footage and one out-of-context laugh. She’s been on the internet long enough to know how fast strangers form opinions.

She’s done nothing wrong. But still. Anxiety doesn’t care about logic.

She shoves it aside and refocuses on her streaming setup. At least this part she can control. Two monitors up, ring light plugged in, mic adjusted. Her little digital kingdom—home.

Her phone buzzes on the desk. It’s a message from Chris.

Chris:

btw—thanks again for being in the vid yesterday. you were class. don’t let the internet be weird. if anyone gives you grief I’ll just post an unflattering picture of George and redirect the drama.

She snorts. Then reads it again. She hadn’t even realised how much she needed that.

She and Chris had only met a few times before yesterday’s video, yet he welcomed her like a long time friend.

Another notification follows almost instantly—this time from WhatsApp.

New group chat created: CHAOS GOBLINS

Members: Chris, Bach, Arthur Hill, ArthurTV, George, Y/N

Chris:

everyone give a round of applause to Y/N for not bailing when we made her wade into a public fountain

Bach:

absolute trooper. also possibly immortal?

Arthur Hill:

I still haven’t thawed out. if i die tell the coroner it was for content

ArthurTV:

100% worth it. someone check on Pickle the ferret tho

George:

still think Y/N peaked at “clown shoes and Hot Bitch Ready To Party shirt” tbh

Y/N:

sorry that I’m setting fashion trends you all can’t keep up with

Chris:

love you guys

Her grin creeps up before she can stop it. Despite the cold floors and the lingering worry, the thread of connection weaving through her screen is warm. Real.

Her Discord pings next.

georgeclarkey:

you up for streaming today or are you still emotionally recovering from trench foot?

She blinks.

Then grins wider.

y/n:

depends. are you going to insult my shoe choices again or play COD like a civilised human being?

georgeclarkey:

no promises. get in the vc.

She joins the call and is immediately met with George’s voice, clear and low and just a bit smug.

“There she is. The woman who turned the fountain into her personal Olympic trial.”

“Jealous I outpaced you in the chaos Olympics,” she replies, slipping her headset on.

They load into a match. It’s easy, this. Banter bouncing between them like they’ve done this for ages—even though this is technically their first proper stream together.

He makes dry, ridiculous commentary.

She mock-scolds him for stealing her kills.

He starts humming Wonderwall at one point and she threatens to rage quit.

The chat, naturally, loses it.

@bananasformonsters:

why do they lowkey sound like a couple

@yourewatchingBBCthree:

"she turned the fountain into her personal Olympic trial" – I’m crying, marry her already

@justvibingirl:

how do they know each other?? is this a collab or a situationship??

She snorts reading the comments, but George—either oblivious or intentionally ignoring them—just keeps playing.

After two hours and several chaotic rounds, they finally log off.

Y/N slumps back in her chair, cheeks aching from smiling. She opens Instagram on autopilot, half-thinking she should maybe share a clip.

And then—

@georgeclarkey followed you.

Huh.

A second later, a DM pops up.

georgeclarkey:

sorry in advance for the influx of people asking if we’re dating. feel free to deny everything. or say we met in Tesco. up to you.

She stares at the message for a moment. Bites her lip.

Then types:

y/n:

Tesco feels right. Two hands met over the last salt and vinegar packet. Destiny.

The typing bubble appears.

georgeclarkey:

iconic. should probably get married for the brand alone.

She laughs out loud. Okay, maybe she’s going to be alright.

---

@madforgeorge

@wherethezoes-at

@sundarksposts

@clarkey4life

[buckyalpine]

Cheating!Steve x reader, Bucky x reader

Oh look, more cheating Steve with sweetheart Bucky to save us

A/N: Last year someone asked me for some mad angsty fic and I posted and deleted it so quick because it was god awful. Just awful. However, I had kept a draft of it cause even though I hated it and everything about it, I didn't want it gone forever. Upon rereading it recently...I kinda like it. So I decided to change some stuff (like most of the entire plot), switch around characters (I'm a Bucky girl) and repost. If you want to see the OG fic, I can post it again or just edit this to add it under the new version

Steve couldn't stand seeing you like this. In the hospital room, the needles prodding you, it all reminds him of hydra and the things he had seen on numerous missions. When you almost die, he's thrown back into the spiral where he has no hope for a future. And nothing changes after you get better. You had almost died once. Missions were getting riskier and you weren't always in the clear. In his mind, everything good in his life leaves him or gets ripped away eventually. Peggy was a prime example of that. It's just a matter of time.

Even in your injured state, your attention was all on Steve. You knew how much he hated seeing you hurt. It sent him into a dark place few people had witnessed. As soon as your eyes fluttered open, your tired eyes met his red rimmed, puffy ones. For days, every time you try to bring him back to you, he has his walls built up again.

He won't let himself love you more.

He drinks.

He drinks enough to get drunk. It takes bottle after bottles but he doesn't care. He doesn't care about anything any more. So much so, he decides to seek the warmth of someone else.

Because you almost left him.

You could die so easily.

You almost did.

Nothing matters any more. His moans of pleasure are empty but he's wrapped around her none the less. He doesn't stop until his body can't move, too exhausted to even think about guilt.

-

You have it all planned out. You were finally released from the hospital and the first thing you wanted to do was spend time with Steve. The team had left the compound so you could set up a movie night for you and the captain, you don't want to let him slip from your grasp, not after all you'd been through together. You didn't go through hell and back to lose him like this. You fought for your life to pull through.

There are snacks laid out on the table, a movie pulled up, some hot chocolate made just for you and him. You shuffle nervously, your heart beating erratically. You didn't spend 4 years with him just for this to end because you nearly died. No. He was worth the fight. His cold demeanor was not towards you but towards the fear of losing you. And that fear was from love. Love you both shared deeply for each other.

You knew he got back from the bar late; if he was too drunk then you'd help him to his room and talk to him in the morning. It was a new habit of his but you understood.

Except he never came. He always made it home. Not tonight.

Steve stumbled in the next morning, rubbing his eyes, seeing a small sleeping form on the sofa, snacks and some drinks laid out in the living room. He swallowed thickly when he sees you get up from the couch wearing one of his hold hoodies, making your way towards him.

"Steve?"

You have a soft smile on your face, but it drops when you get a closer look at him. Tears prickle at your eyes when you see the way his neck is littered in bruises, his skin still flushed. He can't look you in the eyes, not after what he'd just done.

"I-

You freeze before him, you don't want to ask. You don't want to know. The broken expression his face is enough for you. You wordlessly leave the living room, locking yourself in, giving FRIDAY instructions to make sure no one can enter.

"Did you talk to y/n" Bucky asks excitedly when he sees Steve sitting in the living room. He knows how excited you were about the movie night, spending days planning every last detail. His excitement drops when he sees the food untouched and you're nowhere to be seen. "Where is she?"

Steve remains silent, staring at his hands. The rest of the team enter the living room, hoping to find you both curled on the couch, but no. Nat's eyes narrow when she sees the hickeys on Steve's neck but something tells her they're not from you, you've never marked him like that before, you've always been so gentle with him.

"How could you?" She hissed, while the rest of the team look at her in confusion. It doesn't take long for them to piece things together. And it's a mess.

You come down to the living room, both Sam and Tony holding Bucky down on the couch while he glares at Steve, his hands still in fists. They all turn towards you with broken eyes, this is not what they ever wanted for you. The second he sees you, he breaks down. You're numb to his cries, his pleas.

He finds you leaving the compound at 1:00 AM from where he's still seated on the couch, something you'd never done before.

"Baby? Where are you going"

You ignore him, making your way to the garage. You were never able to sleep since and staying in bed only left you alone with your thoughts.

"I-I need some space. Don't worry about where I'm going"

"Y/n, please, just let me explain"

"No"

"I made a mistake, I-

"I don't care. I just want need some air"

"Promise me you'll come back?"

You shake your head, you can't even look at Steve. You scoff, shoving past him, not caring when he hisses in pain. His cheek is bruised, spots of dark purple and blue bloom around his eye and you'd seen Nat icing Bucky's hand earlier.

"Y/n, please angel, I-I just want to talk, just promise me you'll come back?"

"I promise" You reluctantly mumble, hopping on your motor bike and speeding off before Steve can call after you again.

You loved him so much.

You fought so hard to pull through for him, you heard every word he'd said to you when you were unconscious.

Tears clouded your vision.

It all happens too fast for you to comprehend.

The car doesn't see you.

The bend is sharp.

You bike is sent over the edge.

Darkness.

-

It's been a week.

You still haven't woken up.

It's all his fault. It doesn't matter that the driver was intoxicated. It didn't matter that it was dark out. You wouldn't have left the compound if he hadn't done what he did and it eats him alive.

He's not met with any sympathy.

No one bats an eye at his tears or sobs, too concerned about your well being to go and comfort him. Like clock work, every member of the team visits on rotation since they can't all be there at once. however Bucky is exempt from all hospital rules with one brooding, grumpy stare.

Bucky is by your side every single day. He doesn't say anything when Steve grips your hand, praying for you to wake up, silently praying himself while your heart monitor continues to beep. Steve refuses to move from your side but he's not given much of a choice when Fury summons him personally for someone mission related.

He's only gone for a few hours but that's when you finally stir. Bucky is on his feet instantly, paging for the doctor while stroking your hair.

"Hey pretty girl" Bucky whispers when your eyes finally focus, the knuckles of his metal hand gently caressing your cheek. The cool sensation helps you feel more alert. You smile seeing his baby blue eyes, feeling safe as he talks to you softly.

-

Everything hits Steve all at once. He didn't just betray you. He betrayed the team. His bestfriend. Himself. All the people who had faith in him to make the right choice, to do the right thing, to protect them. And he threw it away. Everyone waited a month for you to fully recover before throwing a welcome back party so you'd actually be able to enjoy it. Steve looked back longingly at the happy group gathered together in the living room, more emotions hitting him again.

He was happy you were alive. His sweet, sweet girl pulled through. H

He was envious of the love everyone was sharing, one he wasn't privy to anymore. He was invited, he was still apart of the team after all but he knew it wasn't his place.

He was jealous.

Jealous of the way you melted into Bucky's side. Longing to feel that warmth that he used to feel himself. Bucky had his arm around your waist, keeping you tucked right by him, taking care of you long after you were discharged. He wasn't going to stop any time soon.

There was something between you two, everyone could sense it. The soft gazes at each other and innocent kisses. Bucky wouldn't let a day go by without pressing his lips to your cheek, your nose, your forehead, the top of your head. He needed you to know you were loved and cared for. He stuck to his guns, claiming his actions were purely platonic but the pink blush on his cheeks proved that he was a bald faced liar.

-

Steve knows theres no one to blame but himself. He sighs and swallows the lump in his throat as you stand on your tiptoes to kiss the brunette, sealing you both together forever. He's always thought it would be the two of you standing together at the alter but how things had changed. The cheers of the crowd are a dull buzz to him. He watches Bucky swoop in for another kiss, this time dipping you and capturing your lips sweetly.

"I love you Mrs. Barnes"

"I love you more, Mr. Barnes"

Your happy, love struck giggles cause the first tear to fall.

He does his best to smile when you both walk by, flashes of what your wedding would have looked like. The white dress. The veil. The flowers.

if only he never-

But it was too late.